Just don't know what to do .It has been a long time since the question is troubling me. The purpose of my Life.What is it?I don't know. Since childhood I am hearing that one must have a goal in life. I see around and find everyone being busy in making something big out of themselves. And here am I, just sitting back , relaxing and still pondering. Seldom I think that this question is just a waste of time. It means nothing. May be I am wrong.

I heard by some knowledgeable guy, can't remember who he was, that child is the father of man. Probably I was a child then and couldn't understand this paradox . It was hard but now whenever life throws me in a dilemma like the one I am at present, I go back to my beautiful beginning. When we come in this world we know well in practice the basics of life and then as we move along,we tend to forget. We panic. We haste. We confuse. And we suffer not outside but within. All are burning. We are just frustrated,dissatisfied and angry. Why couldn't we achieve what we wanted? Why we couldn't think of what we want? Why? May be we don't have the answer!And our companions of this unsorted journey suffer too . Life is rude , irrational ,or are we?I think.

I was happy. I never expected anything. I never wanted money, fame, clothes, great 5 star restaurant's food, tours, ceremonies, parties. What I wanted was just to have time to play and spend time with my friends and that was what I liked...then. I dreamt like having a beautiful girl like Shilpa Shetty with whom I could play, we could dance around trees and sing song "Chura ke dil mera goriya kahan chali". So innocent was love and its picture I had. Forget about life, I didn't knew what death was, I remember. For the first time when my dad explained me what death is , it was hard to picture out what it would be like. Dad told me its just not living. My heart was palpitating and body drowned in sweat as I'd just returned back home after playing . I started imagining - No Life means no more playing, no more mango bites and pimpoms ... and what about 6.00pm Disney Hour? But now, death is more simple to understand than life. To me death implies the end of this unsolved mystery of my life - Its purpose. I feel.

As a child I never looked at life as to make something big out of it or conquer world like Hitler or Einstein or Gandhi. It was the world that stoked these thoughts in me. Otherwise, I was an extravagant when it came to time. They told me that "time is precious as it never returns, and so you must make most of it. Utilize your time in a well organised manner" .Like they were salesmen out to sell the time I must say. being human I got into the trap and started buying time to do something or the other .They said there's not much time. I didn't knew why I was doing whatever I was doing, but I was. Ha! I wanted to be blissful but ended up being the contrary. Life was simple. I complicated it. In greed, I must say,I live.

Today I made a resolution. I shall not think about the question again. I realised that not every question has an answer. Sometimes the answer is the question and question is the answer. Life is life. It's a joke. Its irrational. It has no interpretation, no meaning. Don't complicate life by trying to dig out of it something that's not there. It has no purpose. And if there is any, its to espouse an ecstatic path to your destined end. Do whatever you wish to, don't settle until happy. There are lots of stuff around. Often you'll find after achieving your past dreams that this was not what you actually wanted. Because you just aimed to become something. You never aimed to settle there. There's nothing wrong. We all go through it. Find another goal. See another dream. And Live that dream. After all Life is a reverie. Not dreaming is what makes you unhappy. So make a wish.Do not stop. Do not settle.