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By: vj86 | Posted: Sep 15, 2009 | General | 805 Views

Many "isms" and definitions(with cows) Normal 'sensible approach' :


Take 2 cows, make them work and milk them 2 hours a day, let them graze and leave them to rest while you start preparing for the next day. Now see a few other approaches:


Capitalism


take have two cows, milk them 24 hours a day , if they ask you for a raise say "If you dont have bread then eat cake" Communism


give cow equal rights and say government should own everything. Cow does not work more than 1 hour and if you ask it


to work as before, it stages protests and strikes.then cut down the food and costs,cow becomes mal-nourished.


you die without milk,cow dies without food. Government falls and your country splits into 15 states.


Facism


Government takes your cows and milk,u asked to pay for your own milk. If you protest, they take all the cows to concentration camps


and let them die


Nazism


Same as above,but a lot more terrifying if you are a jew.


Leninism


you live a honourable life and take good care of your cows and treat them well, when you die, you leave two well built wolves to


take care of them


Congress-ism


I can explain but it will take 100 years and even then you wont understand what to do.....and the cows also wont be alive.


BJP-ism


You have 2 cows, dress them in saffron.Go and kill another cow because it has green horns. Forget about your own cows


Lead the rest of your life defending why you killed that green cow.


Jayalalitha-ism


Sell all government owned lands in TANSI and buy two golden buckets. Pose with the golden buckets and cows for a centre page still.


Then go to sleep as the government changes. Wake up only when the election comes... to find out that you need to go to sleep again!


Chandarababu naidu-ism


Educate the cow about importance of IT industry and provide state-of-the-art facilities for it. Take Bill Gates for a tour of


your facility .Then sit down with you HP laptop behind it. The cow steps on your laptop and shits on your face


Karunanidhi -ism


You have 2 cows, one fat and one lean. Let them fight with themselves and make them milk individually. when you get a


problem,stop their fight and say "Eyes cooling....heart sweetening..."


Lalu-ism


You have only 2 cows, show them yr age-old lantern and keep talking rubbish .. then buy 900 crores worth fodder for it.


Chiranjeevi-ism


Take 2 cows to top of Tirupathi. Show your back to the cow ask the cow to start milking itself. Then start the count down for it to milk itself.


the cow gets frightened and kicks your ass.


Vijay mallya-ism


Step 1: Buy 2 glamourous cows


Step 2: Take the cows and dress them in Bikinis, attract a huge crowd and sell them liquor.


Step 3: the cows get old and less glamourous.


Step 4: Lay off the old cows and repeat from step 1


Vijaya kanth-ism


Teach the cow to do things that no other cow has done before... Walk on 2 legs, make its eyes red suddenly,shout "MAAA!!" in


a ferocious tone,dance. etc. Then buy 2 full tankers of milk and say that u milked every drop from yr 2 cows.


Simbu-ism


Kiss the cows on the lips and publish posters of it everywhere. then grow long hair and say publically "My dad didnt teach me


to act...I can act only before camera...What ever I do is for real" Police come and arrest you for Bestiality!!! Yuck!


Vijay-ism


Buy 2 cows, don do anything with them, but just dance around them and act in movies.The movies have only you and Cows.


If movie is a hit.. say it is because of your hard work and dedication


If movie is a flop.. say it flopped because of the cows


Vikram-ism


Name yourself cownda-saami and Learn all the body language of the cows(including walking on all four legs and saying "MAAAAAA!!!!")


and keep following them with a bunch of mindless idiots who pull you up and down using ropes. Cows get confused and run away


Kamal-ism


Dress the same cows in 10 different costumes and make them say "MAAA!!" in all styles


Do a lot of make up and make the cow look like a deer


suddenly call for a press meet and say something that no one understands


give the cows a race track to run and practise


Use motion-control camera to show same 2 cows as 4 cows


err.. do what ever you like. But main thing - NO ONE SHOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!


Last but not least....... . . . . . Rajinikanth-ism


Throw the 2 cows in the air and catch the milk in your mouth. and then hit them with your head as they land.


Tags :
comedy, humour, parody
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