Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little b@st@rd.

Mary had a little lamb.

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up its arse

And turned its wool to nylon.

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was white and wispy.

Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease

And now it's black and crispy.

Mary had a little skirt

With splits right up the sides

And everywhere that Mary went

The boys could see her thighs

------------------------

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went into town

To fetch some chips and sweeties.

He can't keep his heart rate down

And she's got diabetes.

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

And planned to do some kissing.

Jack made a pass

And grabbed her arse

Now two of his teeth are missing.

--------------------

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

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Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

--------------------------

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

----------------------

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car..

It is a collection from Adult night school rhymes....this one is for all of us at MSians,always young at heart...and still learning to grow up....I am learning too, with my 300th DP completed today.