A pin-drop silence prevailed in the hall.

And the winner is…….

I scurried hurriedly to my feet, fumbling with that knot of tie. This is my chance I waited for so long! But suddenly the shock of the name jolted me to awareness. That does not belong to me. I could see the sympathetic glances piercing me. A few hands came to squeeze mine. "Oh this is probably a rigged decision" or maybe something like "He is just plain lucky, you are the one who deserved it".

I silence them with a reassurance that I am fine. This was probably not my day. Though my mind still reels with shock, anger, depression and most of all a loss of confidence. "I always knew he was better than me" or "Maybe even I need to dress up my stuff carefully like him" or worst "My quality was never up to the mark". Nevertheless a plastic smile and an overstretched hand are ready to congratulate the One!

A sour taste fills up the mouth and all the celebrations fade. I just hope they would not notice the disappointment which was probably depicted on my face on lifting up that toast.

I just hope they don't rub it more by saying "You were the second best"! I mean I detest such liners, which tell me directly or indirectly you could have been. If I could have been then I would have been standing on that podium. There is nothing like "If" and "But" in my dictionary. For either I stand the winning dais or I do not.

With stooped courage and again a false smile which refuses to leave my face, I hug the protagonist of the evening. He whispers "This is clearly a catastrophe, It was yours, I just got it by chance!". Wish I could strangle him in my hold. Self-control comes to my rescue. And I try to leave as graciously as possible.

No matter what explanations I offer, it just keeps on bouncing back with equal vengeance. It was never meant to be! The lucid details can never take such shallow reasoning. Its just a matter of fooling yourself!

"Jo Jeeta wahee Sikander" All the other clarification is just a big crap!