Employee: My wife says I should ask you for a raise.

Employer: I'll ask my wife if I can give you one.

Why did the farmer receive an award ?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

Grandma: Were you a good girl at church today missy?

Missy : Yes I was. When the nice man offered me a whole plate of money, I said "No Thank You".

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "What did Jesus say about people getting married?

Little Johnny quickly answered, Jesus said, "Forgive them for know not what they are doing".

What was the vehicle of choice among the apostles?

A Honda..... because they were ll in one Accord.