WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

We need... = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Dowhat you want... = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = Ineed to complain Sure...go ahead = I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron! You’re so manly = Youneed a shave and you sweat a lot. You’re certainly attentive tonight =Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = Ihave flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a newhouse. I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, andwallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! Iheard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I’mgoing to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I didsomething today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In response to What’s wrong?:

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot!