February 2007, New Jersey

It was one of those days when it had snowed really hard. The roads were all covered in thick snow and we (me and some friends) had a good time playing in the snow. After all the fun came the boring part - shovel off the snow from the entrance to our apartment. I started shoveling away the thick layer of snow that had gathered on the steps. It was a good exercise and I actually enjoyed it.

After I finished the task, I came into my apartment planning to make some nice hot tea. I took off my jacket and gloves. My hands were numb and I noticed that my left thumb was covered with blood. Looked like I had hurt my thumb but I didn’t feel the pain as my hands were completely numb because of cold. I turned on the tap and started washing my hands with warm water. God! I felt a stabbing pain as the numbness started wearing away. I noticed that my thumbnail had come out of the cuticle and it really really hurt.

I covered the wound with a band-aid but the pain wouldn't subside. Over the next couple of days, there was this niggling pain which wouldn't let me rest even for a moment. I made up my mind, took off the band-aid and started to pull the nail out. The pain was unbearable and the blood wouldn't stop. I left it at that. Next day, I tried doing the same again but couldn't proceed further due to pain. I cried and complained - 'God, this is my own nail. It doesn't want to be with me. But, then why can't it leave me either? Why is it causing me so much pain?'

I had no choice but to bear the pain for the next few days. And then, one morning I woke up with a sharp pain in my thumb. I saw that though my nail had come off completely there still was this small bit that held it back. Without bothering to get out of the bed, I mustered courage and just yanked it out. It did hurt, but the satisfaction and relief was immense. For the next 2 days, my thumb was sore but that was ok. I was happy about the fact that something that didn't want to be with me had gone. And, while it was there it caused me a lot of pain.

September 2009, Mumbai

Today, I felt something similar. The relief and happiness reminded me of that snowy afternoon. Yes, there is a little soreness but it can only go one way -away!