For me the happiest thing about working in an ad firm is the absolute lack of formality. There are so ‘sirs’ and ‘madams’ here. We all address each other on first name basis. I breeze in with a cool “hi” to my boss every morning. No egos. No issues.

We carry forward the same tradition to the clients as well. No one is addressed with unnecessary respect. We are after all partners in business. It works fine for most clients. But got this new client who acts like a stuck up government dude. On my first meeting with him – I called him by first name and he was horrified. He asked my boss not to send me ever to meet him! But my boss being a sweetheart pacified the man and convinced him that it was me or no one else (now why on earth he had to do that beats me!!!). So on my second meeting with him I addressed him over-politely and pointedly as Mr xyz. This too was not good enough for him. He looked unhappy throughout that meeting and then as I was leaving he said “You know , in our office we are very formal and everyone addresses me as Sir. I would appreciate it if even you do so.” I was like…man what a massive ego! Angrez chale gaye aur raise sir phirey chod gaye.

Today I had my third meeting with him. I was so angry. I din’t want to go. I hated the guy. I went with another colleague and we hatched a plan…

I went in and said with a bright, oh-so-fake smile “Hello sir. Sir, how are you sir?” I could see that he was instantly happy. Like he’d put me in my place. I could almost read his egoistic mind. He must have thought…yeah that’s the way to treat these unruly ad agency people – put them in their place and keep them trampled below your feet.

Anyways…the meeting went something like this:

Me: Sir those layouts sir, the way we had discussed sir in our last meeting sir. I have made the changes sir as you had rightly pointed out sir. Can we see it now sir, or shall we look at the estimates first sir.

Sir, grunts, tries to hide his proud smile and wants to see the ‘picture’.

We show him the ‘picture’. He nods and prods and scratches his head and then scratches his chin…

Sir (gruffly): But you see this is not what I meant…

Me: Sir…I know sir. But we were inspired by what you said sir. What a brilliant idea you gave sir. It was really so so inspirational sir. I even went to office sir and told all my colleagues sir – that we finally have a client who understands design sir. Really sir. Your suggestions were wonderful sir. I carried it out exactly sir…just a few minor, practical changes I had to do sir that’s all sir. Otherwise if you see…it’s exactly as you said sir.

Sir was getting visibly excited. If he were a balloon he would have bloated with glee. His moustache was twitching. I could see that he wanted to smile. But he tried hard not to.

My colleague in the meantime was kicking me below the table. She must have thought I was kind of crossing the limit. I was too angry to care!

Me: Sir can we look at the estimate sir? This is exactly your design sir…no change sir. I’m sure sir that you have no issues with it now sir. What a great idea you gave us sir…

Sir: Yes yes…ahem show me the estimate. (Moustache twitches more)

He sees the estimate and raises an eyebrow. Too high he comments.

Me: Sir, what sir, not high at all sir. You told us yesterday sir and we have come back with a design todaysir. And this I’m sure sir is a small amount for you sir. See sir, its your idea and soon it can be out in the paper sir and you can tell everyone sir that it is your idea sir. And what a brilliant idea sir…

My colleague is getting agitated by now. She kicks me again and tries to communicate through sign language to ease it gurrrl. But I’m fuming mad with this egoistic &&^ and by now enjoying myself. I can’t stop myself.

Sir: Yes that is true this is my idea. I’ll see what I can do.

My colleague's jaw drops open. She cannot believe the ploy worked!

Me: Sir, thank you sir. Can you sign off your approval on the ‘picture’ sir so that we can proceed with it sir. Once again I want to say sir…a brilliant idea you gave us sir.

Continued in comments...