As a child , when the 5 day Durga Puja used to come to an end I used to be overwhelmed with a enormously melancholic feeling that gripped the better part of me for almost a week .

I still remember how I secretly wished Durga Puja to continue for at least a month longer .I adored looking at the pandals being built and the bare bamboo structures waiting for a royal look to cover its bareness. An empty field transforms into a ziggurat overnight

I soaked in the aroma , the typical autumn cloud and all the music ,food , colors , pampering and the zest that welcomed the 5 day festivity .And then one fine day , even before anyone paused for a breather the festivity vanished. The strangest tug in one of the unknown cardiac muscle and Ma is gone to come back only next year..

As I grew up , this feeling vanished and I like all other grown up people came to terms with the fact that life cannot be an elongated Durga Puja . That the essence of life is the preparatory stage and one day all the preparation will have to come to an end for the show day .

If I sit to think of one day which marked me as an adult , I somehow fail to isolate one single event. Might be the day a fellow person on the road called me “apni” as in “ap” and not tui as in “tu” or might be the day when I took my first unaccompanied ride in the Calcutta public transport

The art of growing up and feeling like an adult does face a rough reality check when the question of settling down with one particular thing arises either it’s a particular career or a family life . I hugely appreciate people who are completely in love with their life. I totally envy the peace of mind that comes along with it. However at the end of the day I am somewhat great full to my restless mind. A mind that lets me free to experiment around with everything and which lets me appreciate the value of every lying possibility

The feeling that there is infinitum possibilities to which I can attach myself relaxes me . The feeling that I am ready to try out new things and never regret the outcomes adds new dimensions to my being . I feel like I am ready to excavate the vast mine of enthralling events that can come my way and not be bent down for a certain possibility.

I am this child with her little never ending Durga Puja of decorating her emptiness her way..

“We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always a sketch”

--Milan Kundera