I like horror movies, when they’re scary. But these gruesome ghosts are not very scary. The only scene which was a little frightening was the one good bloody bathtub scene.
13 GHOSTS is an R-rated film of the horror genre containing lots of scenes of violent attacks and bloody deaths. The ghosts are comprised of a variety of ghastliness and hideousness. They’re made up to look extremely pale and disgusting looking. They were gross to look at, but they weren’t really that scary. They almost seemed like they were in Halloween costumes, except for one ghost of a young naked woman who died in a bathtub. She was the most haunting and seemed realistic. Wondering if there’s any nudity? Her breasts are shown in every shot she’s in. In one of the few scenes that actually gave me the creeps, Shannon Elizabeth’s character is in the bathroom and as she’s washing her face, the ghostly woman is watching her but she doesn’t see the ghost. She doesn’t see dead people…yet.
Tony Shalhoub (Mr. Minion in “Spy Kids” and currently playing ’’Monk’’ in the television series of the same name) plays widower Arthur Kriticos who is raising a teenaged daughter, Kathy, portrayed by Shannon Elizabeth (Nadia in the “American Pie” movies) and young son, Bobby alone. Wife and mother, Jean, died in a fire which also destroyed the family home. A few brief scenes reveal that since the tragic event, the family has moved into a much smaller, crowded home with a nanny (Rah Digga). Arthur is having a lot of trouble just keeping up with paying the bills. This sets the stage for the family being thrilled to learn that an uncle they hardly knew has died and left them an inheritance, his mansion.
Off they drive to inspect the secluded house, which turns out to be very unique. Seems Uncle Cyrus had very unusual taste in interior decorating: The house is made up almost entirely of glass walls. A young man, Dennis, (Matthew Lillard from Scream fame) shows up claiming to work for the electric company, but is soon revealed to be a psychic who was an acquaintance of Uncle Cyrus. Dennis attempts to warn the family that the basement is haunted by numerous ghosts, but they think he’s just weird and don’t believe him.
The house is built around a gargantuan machine with moving parts that looks to be from another century. Throughout the movie, the machine turns gears and glass walls slide into different positions. The rooms are thus constantly changing dimensions. The machine appears to hold the key to releasing the imprisoned ghosts. When the kids become separated from their dad, help mysteriously arrives in the form of ghost buster Embeth Davitz (currently playing a daughter of television’s “Citizen Baines”).
The bulk of the movie involves Arthur, Dennis, the nanny, and the ghost buster moving through the glass house like rats in a maze, searching for the lost kids. F. Murray Abraham (Uncle Cyrus) is a very intense actor who many will recall from his wonderful portrayal of a jealous Antonio Salieri who coveted the talent of 1984’s “Amadeus”. I suppose the actor was chosen for this movie because of his ability to play daunting menace, but honestly his skills are wasted here.
This movie messes with the commonly accepted belief (among those who believe in ghosts) that ghosts can easily move through walls at will. These 13 GHOSTS, while not bound by mortal coils, are bound by stringent house rules. I am generally a ghost story fan, however I prefer those ghost stories which stick to tried and true poltergeist precepts rather than imposing complex convolutions which distract instead of add to the suspense quotient. In 13 GHOSTS, less would have been more appreciated. I believe that less is more in the reviewing of this movie, as well. What little enjoyment can be found here, you would be better served going in without knowing too much.