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3.7

Summary

2012 We Were Warned Movie
(Updated Jan 05, 2010)
What happened? I think I slept.

OK Ok - special effects technology has gone top of the roof and we can see the unbelievable and unthinkable on multiplex screens if we pay a couple of hundred bucks, right? Not really, Ladies and gentlemen! There is one thing these movie makers haven’t realized: SPECIAL EFFECTS DO NOT MAKE A GOOD MOVIE.


Obviously the director, producer, and everyone involved in making the movie "2012" didn’t know that. This is what too many of those directors out there think a movie is. They are all wrong. May I also say that I’m disappointed in the people who wrote good reviews for this movie. Let me explain.




  1. Was very slow at that start. Took forever to get going. Yes, you have to supply an intro to get acquainted with the characters, and a base for the story. But it took forever! Needless useless dialog. Way too much information, and typical bulls that can be found in all disaster movies.




  2. Speaking of disaster movies, this one follows all the others in cheap storyline and thrills.






a. Typical disorganized hero with an estranged wife and kids.


b. Typical step-father(who ends up being left out) Remember the fiancée in Twister?


c. Typical African-American President. In Hollywood ALL Presidents must be African-American. Unless they are evil. then they can be white.


d. Bad guy turns good in the end. then is killed.


e. Super smart scientist that convinces the world and saves the day. f. Government holding secrets from the populous.




  1. VERY UNREAL storyline. Just some really. I mean really STUPID scenarios.




  2. How many times do you have to have a runway drop out from under you before you decide it is not a good idea to land?




  3. Heroine’s extra-marital lover takes a few flying lessons and he can not only fly. but navigate a Queen Air!




  4. A lot of coincidences that are just way too hard to believe!




  5. Story drags. and drags. and drags and goes on dragging for 2.5 hours! After a while you just end up saying yourself. "Just end the world. I need relief!"




  6. They just tried to jam too many(already done) disaster scenes. A combination of Poseidon Adventure, Deep Impact, Hard Rain, Airport, Armageddon, etc, etc, etc. that I can’t count.






The very plot is so THIN. a global catastrophy is to happen and Americans have not a clue of what is about to happen: It seems the earth’s crust is gonna get loose and so oceans will release gigantic tsunamis and the land mass will be engulfed by ocean waters. Sounds familiar? You guessed right.the flood during Noah’s times: Bible records that thousands of years back when evil was profound on earth God destroyed the world by commanding rain to pour for around 120 days which resulted in a flood that engulfed the world. I saw a documentary that fish fossils are found atop Mt Everest which confirms there was a global flood. But one man Noah was saved because he was righteous. His descendants are none other than us! But the producers forgot one damn thing: God promised Noah that he will not destroy the world the same way again. I know it.that’s why the movie made me so furious. How can the whole world be destroyed in such a short time span? And guess what.an Indian Professor discovers this by opening a lid(some thousand feet below sea level) by seeing water boiling. That is not all, Chinese are building spaceships . sorry arcs( again. just as Noah did) that can carry the saved humans and protect them. When did American researchers become jobless dumb heads not looking what happens below the earth’s surface and explore only the skies? God Knows! Chinese and Indians are gifted with foresight but . BILLIONS OF WESTENERS ARE BEING KILLED - why are Europeans too undermined this way? Why are we fooled this way?


And the Hero’s family is AWFUL. Despite the world going to hell, they care for nobody but themselves. At least their young girl has the decency to sob once or twice(okay, I take back wanting her dead, but not the others). * There’s nothing wrong with depicting world disaster through the eyes of an ordinary family, but the story isn’t actually told through their eyes only, so their importance is never explained. * Did every African-American have to be SO noble?


Having all the non-Americans get the secondary roles left a nasty taste. The WORLD is ending, not just the US. But everyone takes orders from the US President, everyone is happy to talk English, and if you’re a character from outside the US in this movie, say your prayers. Or rather, don’t even bother. * What was the point of filling ships with billionaires? Their money would help build the things, but once everyone else on the planet dies, crusty old billionaires are not only not the best people to hang around with(they’re generally not known for their manual labour or scientific skills), but after the world is destroyed so will 99% of their wealth! Their assets will be wiped out. There is no bloody point! A possible plot-line would have involved SOME billionaires bribing their way on board. But boatfuls of them? I have a low opinion of billionaires, but am certain most would be way too smart to think that was a good idea. * This film is kind of insulting to other nations. Even though plenty of US Presidents have been creeps, not all of them have been, and I can accept a heroic US President in a film. BUT, it’s insulting to have other world leaders follow him blindly, and have him behave so nobly, going down with his country, while then portraying the Queen of England as one of the loathsome billionaires buying her way out - considering that the Queen Mum made a point of staying in London during the blitz, it’s an insult. Oh, and killing everyone in the Vatican, weird. Later what happens? The anointed Noah’s family and friends reach the arcs and escape the catastrophy. Later they see the flood waters receding faster than expected and plan to fill the earth’s surface again. BOOM. The movie is over(but after 2.5 hours of all this adventure).


There is no good acting, no good musical score, no continuity between scenes. Yet this is a Hollywood movie. Last night I watched Return Of the King. What a coordination of graphics and plot it has! No wonder it grabbed 11 Oscars. 2012 is the direct opposite of it. Only Graphics and SFX. No plot no acting. The way it has been utilized makes me rate not even 2/5! But guess what, 2012 was and is running houseful.


Verdict: *Avoid this Hollywood CGI Bloated Mess.

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