I may not write 300 reviews, so let me write a review atleast on 300 .
Writing reviews on movies can get monotonous. When we keep writing more and more reviews, we set into a pattern. Say for instance, I might have to give an introduction like - this is a movie which impressed me when I saw the promos; the graphics was excellent and I wanted to see this atleast for the visual effects . this is a war movie . blah blah .
Then I need to speak about the story
Story?
I hate this section because of many reasons. One among them is I am poor in story telling and the second reason is most movies these days does not have a good story including like this movie under review. We know spartans are brave people and have superior fighting techniques; Persians want them to kneel to them; spartans obvioulsly wouldnt; so there is war; there are obvious politics; war cannot be stopped; 300 soldiers alone take the mantle and proceed; they fight bravely and die. Surely this cannot be interesting story. And that is why I hate telling them. If at all the story is interesting, particulary if it has suspense, I am afraid that I might reveal the interesting part. Thank god, 300 doesnt have much of it.
When I am happy telling off the story, then I have to say about other aspects of the movies like music which mostly goes only in the background in most hollywood movies. Sometimes few aspects like visual effects will be the highlight in the movie and it is very easy to speak about them. 300 is one such movie with outstanding visual effects. But thats it. What would you say more than to say visual effects are terrific? Probably saying the scene which you liked the most might help. Something like "The scene where the soldier with arrow pierced into his body speaks, the blood flows in and out along with his breath. This was amazingly picturized", will be of help to people who read(hopefully).
*What next?
Now, having said most things you might be saturated with thoughts. And particularly if your revu is small in terms of no-of-lines you have the threat of getting an SU or U! So add some more by speaking about performance of actors and actresses. But when you dont know any names like how I am stuck with 300, it might be a problem. Nevertheless, you can speak speak about overall performance which in 300 was impressive.
After saying everything, that is after everybody reads to this point what you have written, they might have some concerns. One would obviously be "Why do you write such craps and make us read?", which is difficult to answer because you will have to write another review for it and make others read that too. But if they get interested in the movie, they might want to know for instance if the movie is voilent, etc. Something like "300 does have some scenes like beheading, etc and it is natural these days especially if it is war type. But we get immersed in all this’effects’ the scenes do not appear violent at all" should fill this gap.
Conclusion
The toughest part is the conclusion because you have say again all the crap you have said! Good trick would be to say something you missed to say like how I missed to say that I did like the movie; It does not scale up to the touching, moving type of movies or the inspiring ones but definitely a good time pass stuff. And when you are happy that you have somehow finished yet another movie review, you should think of others too who would be equally happy that you have finally concluded.
Smiles,
Vinayak @ envyram
(Please do RRC . ready to take any number of thrashing you wish to give)
P.S: If you are wondering the logic behind the title for this review,
1) You dont know mathematics 2) You dont know that I hate giving titles