A Prison Diary - Jeffrey Archer

British novelist & ex-politician, Jeffrey Archer is the world’s most famous & infamous storyteller. As we all know he is serving 4 years jail time & [if he behaves himself] he would be released in 2005. When he was in prison I wondered how long he’d wait before writing a new book. Can someone like him stay still for long? So when I read his plans to publish his ’’Prison Diary’’ it came as no surprise to me.

Inspite of his doings, I remain an Archer fan & have to read his books, ASAP. Of course, even though this book isn’t like his usual far fetched stories, I’ve to praise his brilliance in this book, which has his old touch of wit. In this book Archer recounts fellow prisoners experiences & life stories in a way that can be disturbing, sad & yet make us laugh at times. Archer with his simple style of writing has made even the tragic cases of his inmates sound interesting. We all know how prison systems work & how unfair life is to some prisoners but some of the stories which Archer writes about are truly chilling.

While writing this diary he is sitting in a cell in Camp Hill prison, the Isle of White, England. Here he is known as Prisoner FF8282. He starts by telling us about how he was strip searched on his first day in the jail & later at night he was on a suicide watch, by the hour every hour, in the medical wing of the prison. Later, he learnt that this is the normal procedure for first-time offenders on their first day in prison. Being sentenced in prison for 4 years, Archer resolved that he would start writing a dairy where in he would jot down his daily experiences in the jail. If he would be able to continue writing it would prove to be his salvation & would keep him sane.

Then starts his daily notes about the prison systems, his surroundings, his fellow inmates, their hopeless stories & his one moment when he contemplated suicide but gave up coz he didn’t want to take the chance of failing & ending up in the ’’awful hospital wing’’ !!!

Though it makes an interesting reading & does have it funny moments, the book is not as funny as I am portraying it to be but it also deals with lots of prison miseries esp. when Archer writes about a 17 year old who has been jailed for shoplifting & this is his first crime but he would be locked up in prison with murderers & Archer wonders what effect would that have on a vulnerable teenager? Then there are lots of stories lifers, murderers, who have no chance/hope of getting out of prison. He

has also raised his concerns over the drugs problems & other problems as child abuse, which have been the cause of ruining life of many prisoners.

What struck me most while reading the book was that Archer has absolutely no shame for being in prison & after the initial shock, he manages his prison life quite well, he has not lost any of his charm/wit, as is evident from his notes. However, he does mention being sorry for the way his family is facing the world & not showing how they really feel.

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These are a few funny notes from his diary :

’’Am missing my fragrant wife. These prisoners don’t half pong. (Oh lord, see how quickly I drop into the vernacular). Note to self - must compile dictionary of prison slang. I hope no-one beats me to it’’

’’I hear my son will be visiting me soon. That’s nice. Still missing Mary [his wife] though now I can’t remember why’’

Here is the best one

’’Don’t know how much more of this I can take. Contemplated suicide for a while there, but decided there’s not much money in it. Still, only another 207 weeks to go’’

I laughed so much when I read this note, just these two lines tell us so much about the man !! For all Archer fans, this book is a must read.

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Thanx for reading :)