“....and then you complain that nobody makes films for kids!”
That was my friend Callie ranting about me laughing my guts out and ridiculing the ludicrousness of the latest 3D flick in town.
Callie Menezes was organizing a week long holiday class for school kids and wanted me to help her with the brats on their trip to the “kiddie” film.
As we filed in with our tickets, we were made to crowd around a small table where a girl was doling out 3D spectacles. Now, now, don’t be too enamoured. These were nothing more than some plastic film fitted in card paper cut-outs shaped like eye pieces. For this you had to shell out ten bucks. And no, you can’t take this home as souvenirs, a guy will be holding out a box at the end of the movie to collect the specs back.
And what’s the plot:
A well fed kid, our Hari Puttar…er…Shanu (Master Athit Naik sprouting first bristles on his upper lip) is a witness to the disappearance of his father (Krrishna Sonie), a magician who has attempted some trick where he is stuffed into a wooden box thrown into the ocean. His mom (Shweta Tiwari aka Prerna, the wide-smile beauty of Kasauti Zindagi Ki) finds work at the dhaba of fat Dilbaug Singh (Satish Kaushik), while he wins a scholarship to attend a magic school named Aabra ka daabra.
This school has for its headmistress, a vixen named (hold your breath) Rang birangi (lovingly called RB), played by some Tiara – who is supposed to be a “Combodian” (their spelling, not mine) beauty!!! This is a wicked ambitious character who has some evil agenda like trying to acquire supreme powers.
The gatekeeper is one Limo Chacha (a completely over-the-top Anupam Kher in one of his career’s weirdest hairdo and outfit) while the teaching staff comprises assorted TV stars.
At school, there are two camps – one belonging to Shanu, with his girlfriends, one of them being the annoying Hansika Motwani (now don’t tell me you don’t know who this is) and the other belonging to the head-boy, Changezi (Vishal Lalwani).
It turns out that RB is the evil one who had infact captured Shanu’s dad so as to fulfil her wicked plans. So you get set to watch how Shanu outwits the head….ok, ok, now enough of spoilers…now that I have aroused your interest, I will turn evil like RB and curse you all that you have to go watch the movie in a theatre (since you cannot see a 3D film on TV, heheh)
And watch out for two animated characters, Zulu and Chuchu who keep floating and flitting across the screen. Ofcourse, you will be alerted by Chu-chu’s incessant irritating chuchuing but Zulu is the more silent and menacing one.
You’ll also bump into a garrulous Archana Puransingh who is a magic carpet teacher, who manages to turn her students into experts in the very first class session! Whoa, she ought to get the Best Teacher award!
And yes, dance along with Prabhu Deva who is forced into the proceedings to do a disco-Tandav dance in front of a Nataraja (or atleast that’s what it appeared) statue. And Dheeraj Kumar (the director) makes an appearance in the background, wearing a silk dhoti and sleeveless jacket, raising his arms (yuck!) in prayer!
And since kids today are used to sizzling item numbers, we have one included in here too with RB attempting to seduce the magician, and 3 frightened children sneaking in into the lascivious proceedings (wow, kiddie films have evolved or what!)
Performance wise, all the veterans ham to the hilt while the kids look as though they are acting at their school play. Hansika Motwani is in form with her irritating mannerisms. The only redeeming feature is the earnestness of the lead boy, Athit Naik and his school opponent played by Vishal Lalwani.
Disappointment:
Nearly 20 years ago, India’s very first 3D film “Chota Chetan” had kids in awe with its stupendous effects and tight plot. Despite years ahead in terms of technological advancement, AKD disappoints on the technical side as well. There are no 3D shocks, no missiles flying in your face, no exhilirating effects, no nothing!. For that matter, the movie could have been watched in 2D if the print was clearer that way!
And the blatant use of in-story advertising is quite insulting with products like Camlin and Parle G being crudely shoved into your face with audacity.
While it is appreciated that someone makes a film for kids, one cannot overlook the lack of quality in both the technical and narrative aspects. Kids today are exposed to much more quality stuff and demand state of the art special effects. They aren’t the kids of 1984. Kiddie movie makers will have to keep this in mind while catering to the babalog. Meanwhile, watch this at your own risk, only if kids are below the age of seven.