Hot-Male: Sabeer Bhatia
is busy teaching Americans how to write emails in Hindi when he gets a phone call from his hometown in India, which he left years back. The teacher who taught him computers in school is dying and the computer lab is being converted into a café by the demonly school management. SB packs his bag, grabs his 10-year old daughter and sets off to Des.
Surf-a-rosh: 10-year old’s curiosity results in a flash back of events, explaining how the town heartthrob, ace computer wiz and free spirit SB left Des for Vides. No, it wasn’t Intel, but a pretty (dumb) girl from CHIP (yeah, the US edition!) magazine who had come to Des to take pictures of desi computers and geeks. SB abandons family and elopes with dumbgirl, a day before engagement to the local boy, with his mind flying in Apple-nty dreams galore and a soon-to-be Yank accent in Hindi. Fate, an essential in lives of all Indians the world over, turns villain, and the dumb lass turns smart (read ‘Yank’)on touching US soil. SB is left disconnected and logged out with a kid and just his computer skills to click on. Not to be outdone, SB goes about setting up his own Computer Class, teaching Yanks and ignorant NRIs how to use email, how to surf and so on. Of course, until the blasted telephone rang!
Connecting Up: What’s SB gotta do with ANL? Click Connect!! For ‘SB’, read ‘Madhuri Nay Nay;, for ‘email’, read ‘Dance’ and for CHIP, well.. it doesn’t matter! And Lo and behold, You Are E-nabled! You have the script of Aaja Nach Le of the first 25 minutes!
Data Bank:Diya (Madhuri) returns to Des and determines the immediate life-saving goal for her people – resurrect the computer.. oops Dance school, Ajanta! By her side are her daughter and a high-energy, non-practising Doctor Saab (Raghubir Yadav). She sets up camp at her old home, renting out a room from the new owner, government official Chojar (Vinay Pathak) Appeals to the suave, foreign educated, ‘pizza-maker-at-home’ and development-oriented MP Raja Saheb (Akshaye Khanna) fall flat. The reasonable MP offers a deal – present a dance show with 100% local participation prior to the planned demolition date and ‘Ajanta stays, the Mall gets scrapped’! In the largest democracy, Diya makes politically correct moves, using oncoming elections to enlist support of ‘Hindutva’ leader Chaudhry (Akhilendra Mishra), projecting resurrection of ‘art, dance and Bharatiya culture’ as a strong election plank in a town otherwise Utopian-ly satisfied with the current MP’s performance. The show begins to gain momentum, with Chaudhury granting exclusive rights for usage of his boy (and local heartthrob) Imran Pathan (Kunal Kapoor) as Majnu for the planned Magnum Opus! Anokhi (Konkona Sen), (tomboy package over a dying-in-love-for-Imran heart) gets to be Laila. Male indifference turns to love during rehearsals, fed by all and sundry! Pining for lost Diya-love, hotel-boy Mohan (Ranvir Shorey) too pledges his support, as does Chojar. At the last minute, Chaudhry does a volte face for money from Farooque, the mall-maker (Irrfan Khan), Farooque’s wife jumps in with support, local cop becomes a key character in the show, a 20-minute musical gets done well, results in stunned silence, and, applause. Everyone forgives each other, villains wipe tears, Nay Nay flies back content, local MP notes NayNay’s US number, Chojar) turns from ‘most bore boring’ in wife’s eyes to ‘star ya kalakaar’, and doctor saab disappears (mercifully)! Mohan goes back to serving chai, but now with a smile that reads fait accompli!
Statistics: The shrieking Doctor Saab and the 10-year old Englindi-spewing daughter are downright irritating.
Kunal Kapoor tries, but fails to impress, after roles like in RDB.
Irfaan Khan does the usual Nana Patekari and naturally.
Konkona Sen frequently looks confused, dumb and ill at ease opposite Kunal Kapoor, and not just due to the great disparity in vertical dimension between them.
Akshaye Khanna presents a very likeable and ‘wish we had more like these’ MP, portraying his small role with ease.
Vinay Pathak does a good act, at times brilliant in its simplicity.
Jugal Hansraj and Divya Dutta are best forgotten, and hence not mentioned above! Madhuri, the centre strut of the film (just as her character is for the falling-to-pieces-Ajanta), sails through on sheer dance merit. A mere shadow of the former acting-cum-dancing goddess that she was, she definitely reinstates the point of view that Madhuri Dixit was the original great, and the new avtar, Nay Nay! Dance, her still-dazzling smile and natural expressions are her only highlights this time around. But then, in today’s crowd of actresses in Bollywood, she can still race for pole position and finish among the top 3!
The Web: A hazy multiple-film-inspired story by Aditya Chopra is adequately misdirected by Anil Mehta on the basis of dreadful dialogues penned by Jaideep Sahni. Bored with such a centerline? The unforgettable music and highly utopian cinematography by Mohanan ensure the total experience – of Aaja Lele!
If you still yearn for more, see this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaja_Nachle
Don’t ask yourself questions like:
How can a mega show be staged with props, lighting and 16 support dancers in 24 hours?
How can you pick up a case and fight and win it, when there is no case?
How can 10 people practice and 30 people perform at showtime, in perfect co-ordination and unison?
How can a musical on the beaten Laila Majnu track shift priorities of hard core businessmen?
How can MPs homes be walked into, and meetings demanded by visiting NRIs, in 20 minutes?
How can lousy dialogues and a crappy script get finance of crores to make a movie?
How can an NRI ever fight for a dilapidated structure, enthuse the populace to turn dancers and host a magnum opus.. all in 2 months? Move over Event Managers, here comes the omnipotent NRI dance teacher!
If you ask any of these questions, you may just have to watch this one! So, rethink!
Antidote: A script by Abha, dialogues by Sudipto, music by Jaideep, Effects by FE, Editing by MainChup, Cinematography by Shanti, Costumes by Shalini, Finance by Ipsita, Publicity by Megs and Blessings of Saint Paulose would have made a sure-shot blockbuster, at a tiny fraction of this cost! But since MS hasn’t yet announced this venture, I shall not spill the beans yet!
Recommendation
: Are you crazy? Or plain illiterate? Poora Ramayan bata diya, and you still want to know Ayodhya India mein hain ki Sri Lanka mein? The least you owe me for this torture-warning is a comment! Aaja Likh Le!
As for Aaja Nachle, Ney Ney! ♠