This here, is good stuff, if I may say so myself, you must read on believe me. In life everyone has the right to vent right?????? So that’s what I am going to do. The reason I say this is good stuff is because of the fact that , this is one flight attendant ranting on about another airline, inside scoops are always more cattier and juicier, hehehhehhehe!!!!!
THE BEGINNING
Well first of all let me tell you the circumstances under which I was thrust into traveling with Air France. It was early Sunday morning, at 11:00 am, no no no , don’t even think that 11:00 is late, please refer to my profile it will tell you about my love for sleep, and if not read my coffee review will tell you exactly how I feel about being woken up early.
Back to the point. I repeat, early Sunday morning, my scheduling department from work called me up, and asked me if I want to do a France trip. Being early and my brain fast asleep, I agreed, with ought going into the details of the trip. Now when I think of it I am sure that I heard a giggle in the background. SUCKER they must have thought. Well anyway, after I finally managed to get up, I called work and asked them about the details of the trip. I was told that it is a week in France, where we work only one leg ( bringing the plane back to New York).
That seemed too good to be true. Fishy, anyway, I was also told that we would be staying in Paris!!!!!!! and that we will be flying to France as passengers on Air France, of course. Well with a skeptical mind and my guts screaming out Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!, I still said yes to the trip. Should have known better, at least now I do. But then think about it who gives up a week in France, In Paris, that too when it is paid by the company, air fare, hotel and all? Well no right? That’s what I did took the trip up, only if I knew what I know now I would have never done the trip............ Naaa maybe that was too much......... lets just say I would have never traveled Air France.
THE NIGHTMARE
Fast forward to the day of the trip. I was all packed up and ready to leave, and saying my byes to my family telling them, I will be home in a week. And my brother for the very first time said Best of luck!! OH MY GOD I am freaking out here, what did he mean by that? Anyway I shrugged that aside, unknowing that I would need every bit of it.
On reaching the terminal, we found it packed, oh damn I thought, this is going to be a full flight. Anyway on check in, my suspicions were confirmed it was a full flight, reason being that Delta and Air France had combined their flights. Why I ask In the name of all that is good and holy? Why did they do this to us?. To top off the wound with some delicious sea salt, I was assigned the last row. And no one I knew was sitting with me either, because Air France decided to sit the whole crew apart!!!!!
As soon as I cleared the endless security and endured the torture of lugging my carry on ( because there were no carts around ) I reached the Aircraft. BONJOUR!!! scared me half to death, Oh my god, I looked up pale faced at the source of the booming voice that rattled my ear drums, and what do I see and over enthusiastic French guy! ’’Mr. Universal lover’’. “Please spare me the flirting and let me go to my damn seat, ” I wanted to scream , but I decided to be nice and said “ Bonjour” and proceeded on to my seat.
Seat 55 d, Thank god its an aisle. But guess what I had an old couple sitting next to me. As soon as I put my bags down they looked at me, why ???? Was something stuck to my face? Did I look like someone from outer space? Was I too dark for them? Did I look like someone who could not afford a ticket? I wonder.
Anyway I got settled in and the lady sitting next to me moved a little towards her husband and got comfy. I felt good, maybe this way I was helping him out ( wink wink)
Anyway, as soon as we reached cruising altitude, the in-flight entertainment came on. More bad luck!! Boy does it ever stop. Well this time it was my in-seat controls. Basically my TV did not work. By this time of course the Flight attendant kept coming back and making small talk, so I stopped him and asked if I could change my seat, it was a 8 hr flight and I needed to be entertained. Suddenly he did not want to talk to me anymore!!! ( Think of it the best way to ward of someone is ask for their help....) Well anyway after much reluctance, he changed my seat to a window, up ahead in the cabin. So I gathered all my stuff and moved.
On reaching the seat, I knew that was a bad decision. There was another old couple and the way she looked at me and the way he made that sheesh !!! noise, I felt like jumping from the plane right then and there. Anyway I settled in and fell asleep. I woke up with an uncanny feeling. Opened my eyes and found the couple just staring at me, now I know what the lab mouse feels like. and to top it off both of them had a knife and a fork in their hands. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! please don’t eat me, I am ready to go back to my seat.
Duh!!! I realised, the food was being served. Thank god. But no, things can get worse I realised, the food sucked big time. And yes you guessed right I was stared at all through flight. I know, I am going to become a animal rights activist, because I know as I told you before how a poor lab rat must feel with merciless humans staring down at it, oh the agony!!!! the cruelty..............Unbearable.
CONCLUSION
The end of the flight was best, You know why, because it was over. ATLAST FREEDOM FROM BEING A LAB RAT, FROM DORM FOOD AND CRAMPED SEATS. I was tired but happy, happiness that comes after a long suffering, Light that shines through after a long night, the sip of water after a long dry spell, a bath after a long day............ Hey wait a minute, I think something good actually came out of flying Air France, I became a poet, Oh thank you oh noble Air France, I am now indebted to you for the rest of my life.
There is only one thing now I have to make sure of, never to fly Air France again. Please ask me why and I will tell you. Ok here goes.If I do fly the airline, I may become such good a poet that no one will ever be able to compare to me, and then other poets will become depressed and get stared at for being sad and lonely, and since I know how it feels to be stared at, I will make the sacrifice and vow this very moment to keep up my promise. So Good bye Air France, and Hello poetry!!!!!!!
Love and lots of sleep
Angel