The review is about American consulate in Chennai which caters to whole of South India & not about the Embassy in Mumbai ; though both do the same work & function almost similarly. But I am forced to write here as there is no American consulate Chennai (Madras) topic.
Non-Indian/Non-Hindu reviewers may not be familiar with Tirupati. It is a famous Hindu pilgrimage center in South India located in the state of Andhra Pradesh (AP)... the shrine that attracts the highest number of pilgrims in a year in the whole world ; devoted to Lord Venkateshwara the ’Lord of Seven Hills’ ( Elu malai)... People need to wait in the queue for at least 3 hours in premium ’Sudarshan Darshan’ before getting ’Darshan’ (a glimpse) of the Lord for a few seconds... before the guard pushes the pilgrim by neck shouting ’’Randi... Randi...’’ [ move forward in Telugu]. It takes a whole day if you stand in FREE ’Darshan’ queue.
Now how does it relate to US Embassy? Well first thing you come here to pray for a permission to get ’Darshan’ ( visit) of ’Uncle Sam’ the ’Lord of the Seven Seas’. Two the way you are treated by the staff [mostly Indian] is no better than the guard in Tirupati. Third you need to wait for an equal amount of time. Fourth ’Maze’ like system with Iron railings separating sections of winding queue with seating arrangements on the side; makes you feel you are inside some Hindu temple. So much for being the ’melting pot’ of cultures.
The only difference is you can order Coke/Pepsi (no Indian soft drinks or Soda)... or South Indian Vada/Idli (no Pizza, burgers... or North Indian Nan/Rotis)... of course the price is high... as it is a premium(?) service?
First, [in Bangalore] I had to fill ’Non-immigrant Visa application’ which had some gems of questions like ’Are you a Terrorist?’, ’Are you a Pimp?’, ’Are you a drug dealer?’... etc with an ending note which reads ’Ticking Yes to above questions does not automatically make you ineligible for Visa’ :)). Come on ’Unca Sam’, third-worlders are not so stupid or naive.
After filling the Visa application, I was told by the travel agent of my company that I need to make a compulsory visit since this was my first trip to US... that too on a long term Visa [ I have visited Deutscheland (Germany) twice... but never visited their Consulate in Chennai ]... so made the compulsory trip.
I was told by colleagues to take all possible documents (Original & 2 Photo-copies ) Marks cards, Degree certificates, previous employment experience certificates, Birth certificate [to prove that I was born...eh?], PAN card [I am tax paying citizen?], Driving licence [ since most of US lacks public transportation? ], Ration card [ c’mon Uncle Sam is not so stupid :)], a dozen marriage photos, marriage/divorce certificates... everything except ’Still Breathing certificate’ to prove that I am not some dead vengeful spirit ;).
Some of them seemed logical... some out-right hilarious... but didn’t take chances as... I had heard of cases where spouses visa was denied for not presenting minimum 6 wedding photos with different relatives to prove the marriage was not a con-job [No jokes here. This is an unpublished but mandatory requirement]... or for the silly reasons of ’Photos’ not meeting 26x26 mm [or whatever] size requirements or for Photos being taken with dark background [ rules say light background].
I reached the consulate at 5:30 am morning half an hour before the consulate opened [as advised by colleagues]. There was already a long ’cinema theatre’ queue outside... Some waiting since 4:00 - 4:30 am [ humans... what all will you do for money?].
It was raining badly [ Madras being a coastal city ] and in my hurry I had left without umbrella. But I didn’t have to worry... there was a guy selling umbrellas at a premium price right outside along with other road-side vendors selling ’Chai’ (tea), ’Kapi’ (Coffee), ’Tiffun’ (Tiffin/Breakfast) etc. Aren’t these street vendors enterpreneural?... to live off poor souls waiting eagerly for Uncle Sams darshan? Since I didn’t like catching Flu or Pneumonia... bought umbrella from him without much haggling.
Then at 6:10 am they started letting us in one-by-one. On entering, the applicants were thoroughly searched for any metal objects & you cannot carry any purse/bag while standing in the queue [you have to leave it with the guards... so no money, credit cards etc.]. Only thing allowed in are your documents.
After that it was an almost endless wait in ’Tirupati’ queue. They were letting people inside the main office in small groups. I was being extremely careful as I didn’t want my original documents getting wet by falling into knee deep water inside the waiting area [ due to rains ]... I felt like I was walking in some ’Marshland’ & not the consulate of some ’Super Power’.
[ There was a separate queue for ’Migration Visa’ but not much better ]
I waited cursing myself for agreeing to US deputation... I would have been better off in Deutscheland saying ’Guten Morgen’, ’Guten Tag’, ’Guten Abend’, ’Bitte’, ’Bitta Sein’, ’Tschuss’, ’Sie’, ’Du’... whatever... ( I was dreaming of ’BundesLand’)
Finally I was let in to be confronted by the Indian staff hiding behind a bullet-proof glass window. It was like visiting a relative in jail scene from Hollywood movies [luckily it was not like in Bollywood movie].
He asked me for the Demand-Drafts [DDs] (similar to Cashier Checks in US). There are 2; one non-refundable, other refundable if Visa is rejected [they make money either way]. Then he asked me my Visa category. When he learnt it was L1 (intra-company long-term transfer) he told me to that they won’t let me in... I had to drop it off at TTK travel agency Drop-Box [ they have a very profitable exclusive tie up with US consulate... both live off each other & hapless applicants]... This was the new rule for long-term visas. They keep changing the rules whenever they have a fight with their spouses... so never go there without checking their web-site [I forgot the URL... try Google] for latest rules & since some rules never get public [for PR reasons] ask recent applicants.
So went all the way to TTK office in an auto whose driver fleeced me mercilessly. On reaching there with great difficulty there was no one to help us except a young lady who pointed us to some vague notice pasted on the wall... she didn’t know anything more. After waiting in a queue [again] entered the ’collection center’ & paid Rs 300/- processing fees to TTK for handing-off my documents to the consulate [they might have increased fees now].
At last I went back to Hotel after having completed the ’’first lap’’ in the race to reach Uncle Sams house... to wait another 2 weeks to know the Exam results. But frankly speaking I didn’t care... there is a limit to what level I can stoop to make quick money. I have heard incidents of people crying when their Visas got rejected. For what? Do you carry all the money with you to Heaven or next life when you die... as you surely will one day or another.
It is better to live one day as a Lion... rather than live a thousand years as rats
Thus I end my rev on this much over-hyped product.