After being a student at Aptech for sometime my life finally changed (as promised) & I ...... became a Faculty. Sudden promotion from Bali ka Bakra (sacrificial goat) to Butcher (Yamraaj - TM ack.)
The Training Day
Initially I was in CTG (Corporate Training Group) which is supposedly a group of trainers who would provide specialized training to corporates in exotic mix of softwares.
Actually it was all a sham. I was the only one in the group. I was forced to teach software like ’’Word Perfect’’, ’’Lotus Smart Suite’’ etc. to very respected corporate clients like NABARD, MPC (Cogentrix) etc. That is without having any software at our center & no books except for Dummies series. Should say I really made ’’Dummies’’ out of those respectable gentlemen. ’’I still don’t know what I taught that summer’’... (Still figuring out...) I would have been chosen for ’’Survivor’’ if I was spotted by the director in those days.
Chainsaw Massacre
An apt title for Aptech semester exam paper correction, with some lady faculties completing 40-50 papers faster than the time they take to apply lipstick.
The reason is the Faculty don’t get paid anything extra for correcting them (papers). It is actually a duty forced on the Faculties by the ’Head of Examination’ faculty called fondly as ’Ming the merciless’
Fast And Furious
There was this ’Fast Track’ course where 2 semesters were being taught in the time period normally taken to complete one semester. This was being done by clubbing together Theory & practicals together by directly teaching the students on-line in lab. No doubt the course was completed ’Fast’ and no need to tell that the students were ’Furious’ (having been duped)
Road
This was where most students found themselves after completing their course, like I was (don’t forget I am an ex-Bakra).
There was no ’Placement Assistance’ to any students. I have searched all the crevices, but couldn’t find it either as a student or as a faculty. A very secret cell (Men in Khakhi?) which operates outside the knowledge of even Aptech CEO Mr. Ganesh Natarajan placing students in Microsoft, IBM etc.
The Others
There was this course called ’Aware’ ( ’Beware’ was our code word for it) where time-pressed students doing specialized courses were promised personal attention from well trained faculty (i.e who ever was free) for a higher premium (than normal courses)
This was a real ’Bullware’ as the students never got any course material. The certificates were issued in the name of the local franchise (not Aptech). Often the counsellors would coax (force) us to give them a ’’Send Up’’ in half the time period promised i.e. before they could say ’’The center is ours’’ (or ’’We were looted’’?)
Special Effects
Sound Effects : After a student’s life was changed i.e. he became a Sadak Chaap (Road Runner?) his mother visited our center & threw such ’’choice’’ abuses which I don’t dare to reproduce here for the fear of ’’Flagging’’.
Visual Effects : A team of ever smiling (’’the smug look of a toad breakfasting on fat marsh flies’’ - William Pearson) counsellors (Mata-haris) welcomes a newcomer (Bakra). To be fair with the fairer sex a few chiknaas (male counsellors) are also appointed. Before you know it you would be booked for 2-3 years . The confessions of a student -’’Sir, I came to join for 3 months. But after one look at the counsellors (my god, are they hot) couldn’t resist joining for 3 years’’. No doubt that APTECHs, NIITs run so profitably despite all the economic downturn & ’’We Spoil Lives...’’ reviews.
Thus spake Zarathushtra...(with full sound effects...)
Don’t give in to temptation. Don’t join Aptech & other computer institutes to waste your parents hard earned money (Like I did :(). Study well & get yourself a MCA or BSC/MSC computers degree. If you have loads of money buy a few computers & open a cyber cafe ( Cyber Forest, Cyber Lake etc :)) )
Let me end my sad (was it?) story with an interesting short play staged by the students for ’’APE-FEST’’ Oops APFEST (Aptech annual day)....
A well dressed student (dressed like the CEO of some MNC) crosses the stage smiling & holding a board which says ’’My life is about to change...’’. A brief pause. ’’After 2 years...’’ speaks the invisible voice from behind stage (guess who ;). The same student dressed only in loin-clothes crosses again holding a hoarding which says ’’My life was changed... Indeed’’
Vivek