When an asteroid is discovered to be on a collision course with earth, who ya gonna call? Bruce Willis of course! The basic premise of this film is pretty far fetched. A team of loud, roughneck deep core drillers are sent into outer space to land on an asteroid hurtling through space, attempt to drill into iron ferrous rock, insert a nuclear warhead, blow the aforementioned asteroid to smithereens thus saving the planet. And that is pretty much the plot. It is complemented by a sub plot of romance and a nice cliff hanger ending. But suspend your disbelief for an hour or so, sit back and enjoy the fun. This film is a good blend of action, special effects and pure escapism with a smattering of decent acting and some giggles along the way
So, although “The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn’t trust with a potato gun.” and a pretty unbelievable plot in places with a fair few goofs I still rate it as one of my all time favourite ways to zone out in front of the goggle box. This has everything I expect from a good old fashioned style movie: low on plot, but big on action, humour, romance, attractive actors/actresses, music, special effects and a good dollop of schmaltz from the American President when he gives his good luck speech to the astro-drillers going off on their venture
Armageddon stars a wonderfully cartoon like Bruce Willis, playing Harry S Stamper. His face in this reminds me of the gangsters of the Ant Hill Mob in Wacky Races cartoons when I was a child. Stamper is a world class deep core driller who is called upon to save the planet from an asteroid “the size of Texas, Mr President” hurtling at twenty two thousand miles and hour towards earth”
Billy Bob Thornton is deliciously craggy, quippy and fatherly towards to the delightful Liv Tyler. Liv plays Harry’s daughter Grace who is romantically involved with Harry’s best roughneck Ajay, played by the scrumptious Ben Affleck. This romance works very nicely because although Ajay can come across at times as somewhat gormless he is clearly in love with the feisty Gracie. The chemistry between these two works very well on screen and does not take over from the main story line, even though a lot of their lines are pretty naff. Let’s face it though; the divine Ben and Liv are such delicious eye candy they don’t really have to do much except come on screen regularly! Luckily though this time they both turn in good performances that are credible in as much as anything in this film is really plausible!
Harry’s motley crew is wonderfully played by some lesser known actors. Steve Buscemi is perfectly cast as a crazy genius known as Rockhound “because, well, he’s horny”. I have always been very pleased with Buscemi for not getting his teeth Hollywood-ed; his bright blue eyes and slightly wonky smile are very refreshing after the majority of to smooth too perfect faces in so many films. Oscar, played by Owen Wilson is fun with his drawling voice. I always think of him as handsome in a classical American white teeth kind of way until I see him, when each time I am surprised again by his wonky nose and realise he isn’t so handsome after all! I am very fond of ‘Bear’ who is an enormous, gruff voiced teddy bear of a man. When he jumps up on an examining table during pre-flight medical tests and starts to sing and dance in his animal skin boxer shorts I can’t help but fall a little in love with him. Bear is played by Michael Clark Duncan who also excelled in The Green Mile with Ton Hanks. The remaining team are lesser known and do not have such central roles, but they are all enjoyable to watch and have some excellent funny one liners
The government side of the story, although naturally not as focused on, is equally well portrayed. Headed up by Dan Truman the NASA Administrator (Billy Bob) the main part played is that of overall typical bureaucracy with a dash of maverick rebellion. other than Billy Bob I particularly enjoy English actor, Jason Isaac’s role as Dr Ronald Quincy… “probably the cleverest man on the planet, sir, you might want to listen to him”. Although a small role it is played with subtle irony. Colonel William Sharp, played by William Fichtner, who I have never noticed in anything else, is superb as the self-important, jobsworth pilot flying one of the shuttles. Lt General Kimsey (Keith David) really scares me as a pompous, power mad official advisor to the President
Naturally there is one more small thing included in any film like this – the foreign element. The journey to the asteroid includes a quick stopover on a Russian space station manned single handedly by the slightly insane cosmonaut Lev Andropov, Peter Stormare who seems to be very good at slightly odd characters having also played the Serge Muscat, the scary one in Chocolat
The soundtrack is dominated by Aerosmith. My personal favourite is their ‘I Don’t; Want to Miss a Thing’ which sends shivers down my back each time I hear it, but then I am a soppy sucker for romance. The only other song that stands out in my memory is ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’, which Ajay (Ben) begins to sing to Gracie (Liv) as the guys are about to depart, the others in the team begin to join and by the time the couple kiss goodbye I have to confess my eyes are definitely getting a bit damp. There is plenty of uplifting swooshing music to carry the movie along and as expected the obligatory scary music when things get tough
I always cry at the end of this film, even if admittedly it is not a very clever film other than the special effects. That really doesn’t give you a clue to the ending or whether any or all of the boys get safely home as I cry at most film endings; happy or sad. Also the fact that is a typical American gung ho hero saving the world type plot would put many people off, but I like it. It is a jolly, enjoyable relaxing story that I have watched and will watch again many, many times