Many of MS members who are aware of my vitriol for stupid and dumb products and hyped nonsense might be wondering if I quit Mouthshut because of some rebuttal verbal attacks from baazee.com employees, the answer is I am ALIVE, and I will continue to expose stupid products built on hype.
My last review was on a dumb product called Maruti 800 which until two years ago was a hot selling item because it was ’’Andhon mein Kaana Raja’’ ’’One eyed among the blind’’...if you are a North Indian you will get my joke.
This time, I am expressing my frustration on India’s most hyped city--Bangalore.
In short, Bangalore is hype, nonsense, full of young people (that’s the only hope), and moustache trimming policemen who understand nothing but Kannada.
In plain words, Bangalore is not even 10% of the hype surrounding it. I have been there atleast a dozen times in last 5 years and each time I visit there, I see no changes, except some new buildings with another software company and new pubs.
Cut to chase, let me start with the airport:
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Welcome, welcome, welcome, Bangalore doesn’t even have it’s own airport. The present landing facility and ’’terminal’’ belongs to Hindustan Aeronautics Limited ( a defence
Ministry subsidiary) You land on a remote hamlet, with HAL signs all over. One small board says Welcome to Bangalore.. you walk into a hall whose cieling is so low it makes you claustrophobic and scream with pain.
There is no single food or snack place around. Forget a food court. Chairs in the lounges are from 1923 and squeak, dusty. I can imagine the plight of international visitors from here. I have heard stories of broken computers that never work on immigration desk. I have had people who
testified to newspapers that parking lot gets full the moment a flight arrives and worst of all, The AIRPORT SUCKS!
Move to the city, there is no single approach road exclusive for the airport. You drive and drive through dumb streets and lanes to get into the ’’exclusive’’ area of Bangalore.
Town Planning:
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There is absolutely no town planning in Bangalore. ANything has come up anywhere. Buldings mixed with cottages, cottages dwarfed by shopping complex. Traffic is a chaos..but not as bad as Bombay or delhi. But Bangalore is no where compared to Bombay or delhi in size or scope.
Traffic lights are not frequent and you have to make your own stop-start decision when to pass an intersection. Oh and those cops/policeman speak Kannada and nothing else (thanks Asyis for corrobrating this).
Public Transport:
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There is hardly any form of public transport worth it’s name in this fake city of India. As asyis and cuchillo mentioned in their comment, the only form of transport for general public are the rickshaws. Bangalore keeps talking of Mass Rapid Light Rail and Spacecreaft from Star Trek! LOL.
Tourist Spots:
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Except for Large, huge empty land with some green grass on it (which the Bangaloreans call GARDEN) there are hardly any place to visit in Bangalore. Yes, the government tourist brochure will claim atleast 400 spots to visit. But these are all dusty, unkept and grossly mismanaged museums
and ’’historical buildings’’ The only thing worth visiting is the Palace and the Botanical gardens.
That reminds me, the botanical garden is like a huge parking lot with a hillock at the back and some rocky area. Will you spend time in such a city?
Work Culture:
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It’s there. I don’t know how software industry got there. That is the only incentive in Bangalore.
I think software companies received some incentive from govt. and thus the cycle of new companies attracting new graduates. This is the only attraction of the city. Most people accept the job because THEY WANT A JOB. We Indians hardly care about the quality of life. We will work even in the deserts of Sahara in Africa if we get money, why not.!
But the government hardly does anything to make its citizens happy. Restaurants and bars are in plenty. But the bars have an early deadline. City goes to sleep VERY early.
There are some exclusive golf clubs, racecourse, five star hotels. But for who?? For the Murthys and Premjis, not you and me.
Shopping:
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Hardly anything worth shopping in Bangalore. You will find the stuff in any other Indian city. Only some silk shops have exclusive choice which I would recommend.
Big promises: Big Hype:
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You will argue that Bangalore’s problems are not unique and any other Indian city faces those infrastructure issue. My argument is: Only Bangalore hypes itself so much, not other cities.
Only Bangalore keeps talking of ’’world class city’’ Give me a break. The airport they have been talking about when I was still in my mother’s womb has still not been approved!!! It’s just REHTORIC, False speech and Extravagant PR by spin managers.
Ground zero reality is VERY different. The only class of people who desires to move to Bangalore is the one that is sick of staying with your parents and want to have a ’’BALL’’ and work and drink that’s it.
Bangalore is like a phase in every teenager’s life. It is a phase that makes us think for ourself only...work like a slave from 9-6 come home, drink hang out and sleep.
Bangalore is not a complete city. It’s an artifical teenager city which lacks infrastructure. And when this kid realizes that reality has hit him and he is no more a bum, he moves out of Bangalore.
Avoid this city if you are planning to move from Delhi or Bombay. Advice those that are fighting with their parents to move here.
Bangalore is the government version of baazee.com no product all hype.
I know some of you die-hard fans of Bangalore who are enjoying the software work there will curse me, but when you go home today after working 19 hours on your computer, stand in a room alone and think beyond the Java and VB code, think beyond the pubs and new companies and ask:
If Bangalore is a city of international standard (as projected) why is it that you are still not happy with yourself.