Hello friends,
Welcome to the Great Indian Cricketing Show. Today, after the Indian Cricket Team has been doing exceptionally well in the matches, we have a few expert analysts with us who will, as their titles suggest, analyze the game and the players at present. Now the temperament.
Sidhu: Arre baadshao, yeh kya baat hui bhai. Kehte ho expert analysts lekin you are doing all the talking. Wisdom is in words my friend, and to match me in words, you need to have a long spoon!
aLi: But Sir, atleast I need to introduce the analysts, or the members reading this piece will.
Sidhu: Oye aisi ki taisi experts introduction ki. No fear, Sidhu is here. I’ll do all the needful, including taking breaks. Our first analyst is Ajay Jadeja. Then we have the great all-rounder Kapil Dev, and also the cheap. sorry yaar I mean the chief selector Kiran More and the couch. yaar sorry again, I mean the coach Greg Chappell. Aa jao oye!
Enter all.
aLi: Welcome everyone. We are here today to talk on Rahul’s boys. First of all, let us discuss how, and in what fields, has the team evolved post Chappell’s appointment as coach.
Ajay: See, first of all I believe that the team has learnt to face challenges, and to except failure and move on with the next. Mentally, I think Chappell has prepared the boys to face the pressure which awaits them while they chase for the coveted cup next year. And also, Greg’s experimentation has succeeded largely till date. Being it the promotion of various middle and lower order batsmen at Number 3 or the various combinations in the bowling, by and large, most of them [only with the exception of opening with Gambhir and Pathan at Kolkata against South Africa] have shown positive results.
Kapil: I object! Agreed, that combination did not yield the desired output, but didn’t Pathan opening in the Test matches prove beneficial a couple of times? I think that combination needs to be tried again, but unfortunately, Gambhir has been left out of the upcoming 6 ODI’s that the team has to play.
Sidhu: Sir maanta hoon bada dum hai aapki baat mein. But if we talk about the World Cup, bada mazaa aa jata if we had a WC for Test matches. Kya bolte hai janab?
Kapil: Haa haan, bilkul sehmat hoon aapki baat se sir. But this also brings us to the point of the tactics adopted by the BCCI. While Sehwag and Kaif have not been scoring, they have been retained in the team, but Gambhir always got to a good start. Though he couldn’t capitalize on it, he deserved a few more chances to prove himself. Already, there is this big issue over Ganguly’s exclusion.
Sidhu: Bhaiya!
Kaante nahi lagte to phoolon ka maza kise aata
Andhera nahi hota to sunhera sooraj kisko bhaata
Waise to chand bhi hamesha sooraj ke peeche hi chipa hota hai
Agar Ganguly team me aa jaaye to sooraj nazar kisko aata?
Ajay: So are you trying to say that to pave the way for newcomers, Ganguly should be kept in the background?
More: No no. What we did is absolutely correct. Sehwag and Kaif are good players having a great past record. Both have been match-winners in a few matches. Agreed, in the past 50 innings as an opener, Sourav’s average is more than Sehwag, Gambhir’s average in the England series too is more than Viru, and Kaif’s average is even less than Harbhajan Singh. But I have to keep in mind that Ganguly be excluded from the team, with a reason as silly as his attitude problem, poor form, and players’ consent of not having him in the team. We’ve included Robin in the team for now.
Ajay: But Greg himself once said that for the WC, only performance will be considered, so what about those sentiments?
Greg: Saying and practising are two different aspects. Period.
Kapil: So have the selectors unanimously decided to leave out Ganguly forever? Why the double standards towards different players? Rules (if any) are applicable to everybody, be it a Sehwag or a Dravid. How many more chances will the out of form batsmen be given to prove themselves?
Greg: They will be given as many chances as they want, and as we can. After all, if Viru and Kaif always butter us, which Ganguly never does, on what grounds do we justify taking Sourav in the squad?
Sidhu: Greg guru, waah, yeh to achchi misaal kaayim kar raha hai tu.
Yoon to humne bhi dekhi hai lagte hue paani mein aag
Sholon ki tarah uthta hai dhuan aur sab jaate hai bhaag
Jis aadhaar par rakha hai khiladiyon ko team se tune bahar
Usi tarah dekh lena tujhpar bhi padega kisika behtareen dimaag
aLi: But Mr. More, you have always maintained that whatever you do is in the best interests of Indian Cricket. So what justifies the current actions?
More: Well, its not for nothing that we were termed as a bunch of jokers!
Greg: (while having a sip of tea) Ha ha ha. Well said!
aLi: And then, what about Sachin? Given his injuries and form, do you think he fits into the outlook of the team given the vision of WC?
Sidhu: Yeh to kya baat kar rahe ho yaar. Main kehta hoon ki jo aadmi 14000 runs banake baitha hai, he needs to be thought upon before one takes him in the squad? Maanta hoon, Tendulkar is on the decline, but when even Brian Lara has now supported him, how can you just suffix an ’Endulkar’ to his name? Yeh to wahi baat ho gayi ki aap Manmohan sahab ko kehte ho ki bhai, aapne Bharat ke liye jo kiya, wahi kaafi hai. Ab Soniya-ji to pad pradan kar deejiye. Aisa nahi hota hai mere bhai. Jo jab tak reh sakta hai, kyun na rahe, batao mujhe.
Ajay: I agree with you completely, sir. If Sehwag and Kaif can be GIVEN a chance, Sachin truly DESERVES it, and so does Sourav.
Sidhu: Yahi to main kehna chahta hoon. Suno, cricket jo hai, woh ekdum students ke exam ki tarah hai. A student gives a weekly test, which can be called playing at the State Level and the Ranji Trophy. Then the internal terminal examination, which is compared to the various tours and series at the international level. And finally, comes the external examination, The World Cup. So isn’t it unfair and appalling if after a student passes out everything, you ask him not to appear for the externals? So I rest my case by concluding that Sourav and Sachin are a must for the team in ’07, after which they may retire.
With so much going in favour of Dada, Chappell and More leave.
Ajay: What stuff is this? Pretty unprofessional of them to leave when their faults are highlighted.
Sidhu: Huzoor-e-alaa iss duniya ki yehi to hai reet.
Hum bhi to dekh rahe hai bebaso par zulm hota
Madad na milne par woh to reh hi jaata hai rota
Yadi dekhkar andekha kar denge hum bhi usse
To door nahi woh din jab dikhega tumhe insaaf sota.
aLi: Waah sir, kya baat hai! Agree with you whole-heartedly. On a final note, I’d like to give my opinion on the team I’d want to see in the WC:
V Sehwag
S Tendulkar
R Dravid
S Ganguly
Y Singh
MS Dhoni
S Raina
I Pathan
H Singh
R Powar
S Sreesanth
Sidhu: (to readers) Oye paaji, yehi baithe rahoge? Rate aur comment karne ka iraada nahi hai kya?
© Aliasgar Poonawala, 2006