Let?s skip any preamble and hop to the review: my preambles usually have exquisite things to say about me. I therefore will refrain from any here.
JUST like being a good host, as discussed in the previous review, being a good guest can pose some challenge to the unnecessarily conscious. The task of being a good guest is, of course, somewhat easier. One is not expected to behave in any specified manner nor expected to make much of an impression either. I say this, assuming reasonably, that the guest was invited out of the host?s preplanned pleasure and not as a spontaneous afterthought. Even then, being a good guest can turn out to be particularly harrowing if done improperly.
A good guest, for example, eats heartily at dinner, but does not normally expand his appetite to a seventh helping. Also, a good guest can assume his host is obliged to have his company, but not to the extent that guest should categorically admire only the timepieces people are wearing. A good guest may display his sense of homeliness by putting away his dinner jacket, but he is strongly advised to keep his shirt still on? et cetera? Instead of dwelling on overalls, let us be more objective in our biopsy of the subject.
== Enter Guest, Main Door ==
Just like the host?s welcome, a guests entrance into the party can make a big difference. It is essential, therefore, to be careful while entering into a party. Remember, it is always a good idea to enter only after ringing the doorbell or knocking, unless someone from the hosts is waiting to usher you in; in which case ringing the doorbell is a terrible idea.
As the subheading suggests, the first principle is always to enter through the front main entrance of the party, since it can be reasonably assumed the proper welcoming arrangements shall have been made therein. Entering through the back door can have two unwanted effects: one, the guest might be counted absent unless he is polite enough to bump into the host, and two, the backdoor usually conceals the kitchen, the sight of which could possibly have a particularly long-lasting unappetizing effect. A third, less widely accepted side effect of that could be that a backdoor entrance could appear like a cautious, of course, unintended, and subtle plea for diplomatic immunity.
It may also mean it was you who smashed the rear of the hitherto gleaming red Le Mans, which, true or not, is not at all a desirable implication.
Assuming the physical act of entering was performed without unnecessary signals of obscure sexuality or sordid legal records, we now stumble upon another point: the words to be chosen to greet the host.?Finally, found you!? is not a smart way of greeting the host and neither is?Hey, I saw you at the artificial insemination center! But of course!?
A good greeting consists basically of a?good evening? and a smile. The smile, of course, must also be carefully expressed. A toothy smile for a person just arriving from a pie-eating contest is a bad idea. A smile for someone who is outside an ambiguous number of liquid shots is a bad idea itself. And finally, the guest must refrain from twitching muscles of any other facial part but the lips while smiling?particularly the nose.
Do drop a moderately flirtatious comment to the Lady host restricting yourself to only her overall appearance, the minutest detail permissible being her face. Since I did make the mistake while typing down the original version of this, I can add one thing more?avoid confusing between the words?what a pretty appearance!? an?what a pretty experience!?.
== The Socializing ==
Presumably, one is not the only invitee to the party. It is always good, therefore, to be prepared to socialize with people who you haven?t seen before, as well as with people of whom you can see a great deal, especially women. Socializing is important: it livens the party, contributes to achieving the goal behind it, which is a social get-together, and also gives the host an opportunity to adjust his trousers? harnesses and fastenings in case he needs to.
Socializing is a tricky business. I can?t give you any particularly handy tips for the purpose; I?m not considered wonderfully good at that. I can, of course, give out things that must be avoided. I don?t, however, mean to say that I learnt all those things out of experiences; some knowledge does come from observation and theorizing!
Prima facie, the worst way to socialize is with an oily smile fastened robotically to your face. A changing expression, changing to the context that is, is always a good idea, irrespective of if it?s genuine. It is polite to ask others their names, but not particularly polite to inform them the origin of them every time nor the meanings of them?especially if the name is John. Talking about cricket is a good idea inside India if the invited crowd belongs to any age group below unfathomably wizened, but to categorically discuss the ways of handling a short-pitched ball?especially the hook shot and the practitioners of it?is not.
== Dinner Time ==
Assuming one has been invited to a party that is followed by a meal, one must bear in mind that dinnertime is a mere formality. Therefore wise to wait for the host?s signal rather than to remind him repeatedly of the imminent gourmandizing that is awaiting, no matter how subtly the reminders are made.
Judge a man not by the company he keeps, nor by his enemies, but by how he dines. A good guest does display some grace and dexterity at the dining table, irrespective of how slipshod he is otherwise. He will, therefore, use a spoon to have his soup even if the rim of the soup bowl is suitable for direct consumption. He will also remember that, that he is having soup is not a cause for garrulous celebration, if you understand what I am hinting at. Please be kind enough not to have spring rolls with curds, no matter how you like it. Avoid blowing through the straws of your cocktails.
A good guest will generously assist his host in serving others, provided only his left hand is used for the purpose. Serving someone spaghetti neapolitan after having reflected at length upon a dish of chilly-cheese is certainly not polite. Furthermore, a good guest will always complement the food, but the most preferred manner is verbal?especially English?in addition to oral. Ignoring that could have repulsive consequences. And try to make it as undetectable as possible to the maid while she cleans the table after meals as to what you had and did not have; the host may come forward with inconvenient questions.
Concluded in the comments section