This is gonna be a mix of rhyme and crime. To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m wasting precious oxygen and effort on this one.Let’s start off with the city known as... Bang... Beng... darn... whatever the new name is...
The City
City, city, garden city
where once bloomed, flowers pretty
now short of space, electricity
you’ve gone from sweet to very sh
Bangalore... a place where 7 million people reside... in space designed for a million!
now... the airport...
The Airport
Bangalore’s Airport is it’s life line
access to every place
its more like a hernia in the groin
a pimple on it’s face
your ordeal starts when you have a flight
to catch or to get off
if you expect customer delight
you’re gonna choke and cough
there’s rennovation going on
they’re revamping the joint
workers toiling dusk to morn
still you wonder what’s the point
with several flights to grace the scene
so many flights to catch
there’s only one xray machine
and a queue that none can match
you amble on like an idiot lost
and wonder where you are
the airport, wonder what it cost,
resembles the planet Mars
Ok... so you got a rough idea of what it’s like. Its just a massive building that looks more like a warehouse than an airport. There are crowds everywhere. There’s one xray machine and 20 flights. And... the air conditioning looks like it has been assembled from left over parts from the last 20 aircrafts that crashed.
on to the next part...
Accessibility
Roads that lead in and lead out
roads that make you twist and shout
traffic that can make you weep
people driving in their sleep
bumper bumper bumping BUMP
makes you wanna scream and jump
takes an hour to traverse
50 meters, could it be worse
two lanes are there for your wheels
taxi cabs one lane did steal
the rest the police barricade
all your hopes will die and fade
the footpath is a better choice
to drive your amby or rolls royce
but when you get to the airport, LO
all that parking space... where did it GO....
No exaggerations here... during those times when there are more than a handful of flights... it takes hours to make it to the airport. Experience me hearties... I speak from experience.
Now... on to the parking lot. Before I start this one, please make sure you have nose plugs on or you have a cold or something and cannot smell anything.
(puts on nose plugs)... here goes...
The Parking Lot
Its hard to negotiate this space
without bumping your car
and once you find an empty place
with a shoe horn you shall park
then you get out of your vehicle
and you feel a sudden rush
and tears of pain will soon trickle
you’re in a toilet without a flush
there’s a paid bathroom that’s ok
but the folks dont wanna pay
they just pick a wall to spray
oh this vile scent wont go away
we the PEEple suffer bad
cos of PEEple who do pee
this is the state of the place, so sad
you can borrow these nose plugs from me...
I once read an article that said INDIAN MEN WILL PEE... the truth in that statement hit me hard the first time I ever stepped foot... er... drove my car... into that parking lot. After all those patriotic songs Manoj Kumar sang for this country... after all that soil he rubbed on his forehead... sigh...
On to the rest of the rest...
What Else?
Where else, would baggage be scanned and the customs guys put an X on baggage they suspect... and that too with WHITE CHALK. I’ve seen a lot of people erase the white chalk X and calmly cart their bags through green channel.
And then... once I was carrying an Acoustic Guitar. The guy wanted to slap duty on it saying it was ’electronic items’.
Then, there are the baggage handlers... the blokes who look sweet and seem helpful. You have a few options here. One is to tell the guy that you’re perfectly capable of handling your baggage. Then again, you could make him push it for you and later listen to his angry statements like "you paid me only 50 bucks to cart your luggage 10 meters". On some rare occasions, you’ll find 4 or 5 of them wanting to wheel your luggage (which might consist of a bag and a half).
So what’s the positive side? There’s positive in everything, isn’t there? Well, here’s what I feel. The government is constructing a new Airport which should be done in a few years time (the catch being, it’s lightyears away from the city). Whatever they build... can only be better than this airport.
I hope my next flight will be up a flight of stairs.
~finis~