Never mind what you think you see here. This is not a car as we know it. Yes, you can drive it—or it can drive for you during your 15-second catnap. It will perfume the air you breathe and draw the shades if the sun is too bright. It can recline your seat, clear the space ahead, and deploy an ottoman. Approach the car and it’ll roll out what BMW calls a “Light Carpet, ” an LED-projected runway welcoming you. It’ll remind you of speed limits, but wouldn’t dare suggest you obey them. And when you reach your destination, it will park for you, or just act as spotter if you prefer to do it yourself. It’ll even stomp on the brakes if you don’t see an obstacle and get too close. The new BMW 7-series isn’t just a car. It’s a concierge, a four-wheeled passe-partout.