Now, I have always thought of myself as being pretty smart. I have never been fooled or conned by anyone. But all that changed a few days ago, when I became a victim of Bunty and Babli’s master scam. This con, which has stunned the nation with its simplicity and ingenuity, has claimed thousands of victims in various cities. So how did I fall for it? Read on and find out.
It began about a month ago, on a lazy Sunday evening, when I was indulging in my favorite activity of channel hopping. Suddenly, the screen lit up with bright graphics, booming music and the faces of Bollywood’s shining stars, Abhishek and Rani. I was mesmerized with the visual, to say the least. And when I realized that this forthcoming blockbuster ’Bunty and Babli(BNB)’ was written by Aditya Chopra and directed by Shaad Ali, my excitement knew no bounds. I watched the promos of BNB over and over, eagerly awaiting their arrival at the local multiplex.
And arrive they did! On the 27th of May, I braved the elements(the afternoon sun, crazy traffic, choking pollution) to buy my part of this fantasy. The tickets were steeply priced, but I trusted BNB to provide me with an afternoon of wild laughs and crazy adventures.
A little while later, seated comfortably, armed with a bag of popcorn and a drink, I waited for the magic to unfold. It started off well enough. Bunty was the caricature of a small-town boy with big dreams. He detested the idea of living, working and dying in his homewtown of Fursatganj, UP. Bunty’s ideas and disrespect for the ’honest way of making a living’, constantly put him at loggerheads with his father. Unknown to Bunty, Babli was undergoing the same trauma in her little town of Pankinagar, Punjab. This fiery girl was determined to make it big in the world of glamour and considered entering the ’Miss India’ contest as a surefire way to achieve her goal. I felt a real empathy with these two lost souls and when their paths finally crossed, I started looking forward to an exciting ride with BNB.
Little did I know that instead, I would be taken for a ride. BNB did look amusing in all their disguises, but they were just not convincing enough. Their schemes were juvenile and the people they conned were born to be fooled. Add to that, BNB spent more time celebrating and gloating over their scams than actually planning and executing them. Unfortunately, Babli reminded me of Kajol in ’K3G’, loud and annoying. So, as BNB ambled along, hopping from town to town searching for people to be fooled, I kept searching for a storyline. Midway in the saga, when BNB finally decided to go to Bombay, the city of riches, a small flame of hope lit up again. But what is this? They landed in Bombay but got magically transported to Agra, where an eager foreigner was waiting for them to sell him the Taj Mahal !!
By now, my poor, logical brain was on the verge of a collapse. Enter super-cop Dashrath, who brought some badly needed freshness and life to the sagging script. His cool attitude and witty dialogues were quite entertaining. He even managed to distract me from the long, noisy interludes that were passed off as songs. Although Shaad Ali’s tribute to the soon-to-be-defunct bar dancers was well-choreographed, it left me wondering how the normally prudish Ms. Rai had a change of heart. It also looked like Ms. Rai had Babli brainwashed , since she too was seen emulating her in another never-ending number.
Just as I was wondering how this disastrous caper would end, lo and behold! BNB were finally in the clutches of the law. Did I feel sorry for them? Nawww, I just wanted them to be put behind bars and for the boredom to end. But that would have sold even lesser tickets, so Aditya Chopra decided to get inspired by none other than Steven Spielberg and delivered BNB to salvation, in the style of ’Catch Me If You Can’.
As I walked out of the theatre it dawned on me that I was but one of the many people whom BNB had managed to con out of 120 Rs and 3 hrs of precious time. Of course they did not do it alone. They had Aditya Chopra, Shaad Ali, Amitabh Bachan, Aishwarya Rai, Prem Chopra, Raj Babbar and Ranjeet assisting in the scam. But it seems the mastermind behind this whole plot is a man who goes by the name of Yash Chopra. Anyone know where I can find him?