Disclaimer - This is not written by me. It is taken from an e-mail. Apologies to non-Tamil speaking people, but those who live in Chennai will enjoy this. This is also NOT about Madras but about Madras Tamil.
edited on 13.JAN.2005. I finally managed to trace the origin of this piece. It is available at Vishi’s Madras Guide (https://uweb.ucsb.edu/~vishi/madrasguide.html). What an amazing gentleman!
The aesthetic quality of Madras Tamil comes from the fact that a classical (and old) language like Tamil is given that contemporary touch by the constructive intrusions from languages like Hindi, Telugu, Greek, Italian, Persian and most importantly English (naduvula konjam uttaks naina). As a result, the language may sound uncivilized, from the point of view of the Madurai folks, who seemingly say ’Vaanga..ponga..’ even before ’veesing’ the ’veecharuvaa’ and the Coimbatore folks who add this sickening slur to every statement... and in their obsession with pure Tamil curb the unfettered evolution of the language, thereby leading to little or no development of the language itself. For instance, words like ’bejaar’, ’peela’, ’saavu graaki’ have no sense and no equivalents in the Southern dialects of tamil. Certainly an inexplicable loss to Tamil Language!
Now, really getting into the mechanics of the spoken language, the most important point is the relative position of the lips while speaking. While most tamil dialects involve a cavity of 2 inches between the lips, Madras tamil involves a much lesser gap (0.5 to 1.2 Inches). Mastering the exact position is half the language learnt.
Assuming we’re using flash cards,
Card# 1.
All words-more specifically, all verbs need to be consistently shortened adhering to a set of strict rules.
padithidu(read), mudithidu(complete), sabithidu(curse) will be gracefully shortened as ’Pachchi’, ’muchchi’, ’sabchi’. Note the conversion of the syllable ’da’ to ’cha’. This is essentially true for the entire gamut of emotions to be conveyed in Madras Tamil. ’kondirukkiren’ is converted for simplicity to ’...nikkeren’. As a corollary,
’padithu kondirukkiren’ ’ = ’pachchi-nikkeren’
’kulithu kondirukkiren’ = ’kulchi-nikkeren’.
Readers can understand immediately that this was done to save time, so that in the same period of time a Madras Tamilar can convey 1.5 times that of a Madurai Tamilar and 5000 times that of a Coimbatore Tamilar (depending on the length of the drawl...like ’yaeeeeeeenunga?’) One anomaly to this shortening rule is, some words get suffixed with the syllable ’ka’. So,
summa = summaka, dhoora = dhooraka.
Card# 2.
Madras Tamil does not use ’neenga’ and ’nee’ in different contexts. In fact, only ’nee’ is used. This is not a deliberate attempt to degrade someone in public, but to offer a level playing field for everyone. So if the auto-karan asks ’enga ponum, unakku?’ do not feel offended.
Card# 3.
’da’ is used by ALL IIT guys and ALL policemen for quite different reasons. The tone of ’ennada, license enga, vootlaya?’ and ’what da, where is the Jantha, da?’ are self-explanatory. Incidentally, all words beginning with ’vee’ can be unconditionally substituted with ’voo’. So ’Veedu’ = ’voodu’ and ’Vittuvidu’ = ’vuttudu’. Coming back to ’da’, a euphemism for that would be ’ba’. So a ’ennada’ would be made to sound much less offensive with ’ennaba’. Other less effective words, principally used among friends include ’naina’, ’vaadhyaare’, machi’, ’berther’(brother), ’allo’(hello)... the list is endless. When it comes to expressing intimacy and friendship, Madras Tamil is the best in the world.
Card# 4.
’enna’(what?) in Madras is ’yeenaa?’. So, combining equations (2) and (5), (sorry ba, 12th Maths madhiree aaychee) ’yeenaa pachchinikkera?’, ’yeenaa kachinikkera?’.
Card# 5.
The syllable ’zha’(as in tamizh) becomes ’ya’. So, ’vaazhai pazham’ is ’vaaya payam’, ’vaazhkai’ is ’vaaykai’, ’vazhukki’ is ’vaykki’. Off the record, ’zha’ is a pain in the butt. More than 95% of Tamil Nadu substitutes it with ’ya’ or ’la’.
Card# 6.
When it comes to borrowing words from other languages ’Madrassukku nigar Madrasse’. English words can be used in any context without feeling alien. ’wrongu’, ’rightu’, ’yechuse me’, ’adjist’, ’abase’, ’abscond’, ’beetiful’, ’super’, ’fruitu’, ’pil im’, ’figureu’ and so on. Hindi has its contributions like ’bejaar’. Telugu: ’naina’, ’baava’, ’eppudu’, ’cheppu’ etc.
Many such languages have their representations all of which cannot be listed here. Also singular and plurals in English are inversed. So, even one lady becomes ’ladees’, one friend becomes ’priends’, a vegetable puff becomes ’puphs’ etc.
Miscellany:
Superlatives are mostly functions of time and fame. But some superlatives like ’Lord Labakdas’ , ’Amrican citizen’, ’Columbus’, ’pisthu’, ’pistha’ can be used at any time, anywhere, guaranteed.
The etymology of these words are unknown.
Slangs are very important in Madras. Especially while drunk, during ’kozha adi sandai’ and in the ’paal booth’. ’saavu graaki’, ’somaari’, ’kasmalum’ can be used as and when required.
(Tamil spoken at Ethiraj, Stella Maris & other notable women’s colleges is entirely different and is beyond the scope of this article.)