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What do u get when u have a HORNY director (Vivek Agnihotri)...an old pervert (Anil).a dumb model(Sushma).a smoochoholic dude(Emraan Smoochmi)...a brilliant arty actor(Irrfan).....a hot b00b popping Mallika wannabe(Tanushree)..the fugliest dude in bollywood (Sunieewwll).....an excellent character actor(Arshad). some rocking songs..London Locales....and script from a Classic Hollywood Thriller..?????
A Steamy..musical...Bollywood comedy....yeah u heard it rite..its a comedy...its hilarious....its a mockery of one of the best movies ever made
So u have a sexed up..narcissistic..megalomaniac..bad accented LawHer Krish (Anil)..who decides to help wisecrack Pipi (Irrfan)..and sexy mama Sim (Tanushree)....expatriate Indians charged with robbery of Billions of pounds and terrorist attack on a boat..on the insistence of Whacky Whornalist Monsoon (Sushma)...as he investigates the truth behind their story....deep dark hilariously crazy lies are unearthed..totally ROFLMFAO..the ludicrously told story unfolds in flashbacks...about their partners (Arshad, Suniel and Emraan) and the situation that led to..wisecrack and sexy mama landing up in trouble.the flashbacks are so bizarre, idiotic, nonsensical...........phony, BS and funny ...that the story makes Pamela Anderson’s b00bs look real or Rani Mukherji look beautiful without makeup.
The story is so convoluted and illogical that trying to explain it will take 10 pages.so moving on
Kobayashi here becomes Rashomon .a ref to Akira Kurosawa..Kaizer Soze becomes Murtaza Karzai...George Bush, Saddam, Osama, 9/11 and other things r stupidly forced into the narrative..
The phillum has the most awesomely whacky dialogues ever written in Bollywood..
Sample these.
Anil to Irrfan: “Tumhare Jaise Log jo Taango ke Beech main se sochte hain” (People like you who think from between their legs)
Anil to Irrfan: “Lamp post ke neeche Khadi taxi samjha hain kya Mujhe?” (Do ya think I m a taxi standing under the lamp post)
Irrfan to Anil abt Tanushree: “Yeh Londi badi kutti cheez hain, Tujhe kidhar se ghusa ke kidhar se nikalegi pata bhi nahin chalega” (this tramp is Biatch sample, you will never know from where you were inserted and from where you come out)
Irrfan to Anil abt Tanushree: “She is Btch, you know Btch, very very special B*tch”
Irrfan to Anil: “Ooon Haraamzaadon ki bunduke hamare andar thi” (Those B**tards had their guns “inside” us......if u know what inside means)
Tanushree: “Gimme the bag......Fat A**”
Emraan about the Dalmatians: “ In kutton ki sex life humare sex life se achchi hain” (these dogs have a better sex life than ours)
Anil: “Iran se Afghanistan se kissi bhi guffa main chupa hoga main tujhe dhoon nikalunga” (from Iran to Afghanistan I will find u regardless of which cave u r hidden in)
“Ladkiya do kism ki hoti hain: High Voltage and Low Voltage” (Girls r of 2 types: High Voltage and Low Voltage)
Arshad: “Women can fake Orgasms, why cant they fake silence”
Anil to Sushma: “how is ur sex life? You don’t look that hot!”
Music..actually the music is very nice although inspired a little has a European disc feel to it..Halka Halka and Zehreeli Raatein really rock. but the best is .”Mummy”...the lyrics r just awesome...sample this: “kehte hain sabhi ke badi hot hoon main....... tell you what tequila ka Ik shot hoon main” (everyone says I m very hot.tell u what I m a tequila shot) .”feel me up baby feel me up honey”..”cool hoon main, tubhi cool hain, cool hain yeh jagah ...aa zara kiss yun kare jal jaaye sara jahan...aaj wo ho jaane do ab tak nahin jo huan” (I m cool, u r cool, the place is cool...lets kiss such that the whole world will get jealous...let it happen what has not happened till now)...yeah I was wishing she wud wear clothes..coz that’s what has not happened till now
Oooh and who was that Dheeri Queen in Jhuki Jhuki video.that chicks flabs......actually monster truck tires are as big as Rani.* Pukes after remembering Rani’s tires in “Nach Baliye” from B aur B”
Cinematography is good, editing is the worst ever for any bollywood movie...
Acting..Hmmmmmm
Anil Kapur...after this movie I m calling him Anal Kaput.thats how dismal he was in this sorry movie..first of all...those outdated glasses...made him look like Jadoo the alien from Koi Mil Gaya..the Hair...it was not a bad hair day.seemed more like a bad hair year..looked like a Raccoon.the bad bad Accent...i mean when did career become “Kayreer”..........and whats with the hysterical laughter??????..he completely redefines Over The Top with this horrendous performance..and Pluhleez don’t ever call anyone “Duckie Duck”especially not a hottie like Sushma
Sushma Reddy.she cannot act to save her butt..wait she doesn’t have a butt....her rear is flatter than a Carom board..and the expressions on her face r like the one on a Zoo Monkey..plus the hideous clothes???
Irrfan...he is as usual. good.
Arshad.again he shows flashes of brilliancebut his talent is wasted
Emran Smoochmi.is pissed off for most of the movie...unfortunately no kiss-athons or smoocha-athons this time around.he is plain awful.
Sunie(w)l shettyi m changing my opinion that Shahrukh is the FUGLIEST dude in B’wood..it is Suniel Shetty...he is so ugly that he shud sue his parents for his looks...wait he needs to sue himself..why???..just look at the Posion Ivy growing on his head Cut ur hair!!!!!!!. or don’t work in movies.acting wise.he frowns and shouts.and acts worse than how he looks..the worst scene being the one in which he shouts “ I m Murtaza Carzai.. I m Murtaza Carzai..” and fires gunshots
Tanushree.i think Anatomy was her fav subject in school..coz she shows most of her anatomy in the movie..her cleavage and thunder thighs keep popping out in every other scene.her character is a musician/waitress/nightclub dancer/hooker/temptress/mysterious lady.and she is actually decent...not bad at all..but why was her voice dubbed??.however if she wishes to make an impression in the future.first thing she needs to do .learn to dance.she cannot dance..really really bad dancer.second.go easy on the make up.third ..do not show ur anatomy especially if u have thunder thighs.and plz no blonde highlights.also she is cute .and saucy..but not that hot that everyone in the bar will just turn out and start drooling she aint Shilpa or Mallika