Everybody has heard that old chestnut about the best things in life being free.
Yes, some good things really are free, but men, when you are looking for a gift to give to that special woman in your life, on that special occasion, don’t just go for the love and fresh air kind of freebies. Most women also love the kind of gifts that cost you effort and money.
Usually men friends do very well in the gift giving department - once, a friend who knew I liked tulips, and couldn’t find the real thing, bought me some in glass. Husbands, from everything I know and hear, are hardly ever that creative, but I digress - this is about husbands and wives; I’ll get straight to the show.
Over the years the husband, our hero, has given his wife gifts – some because he wanted to, some because she would have killed him if he hadn’t. Some of these presents have been spectacular hits, and others have bombed miserably. I’ll list a few here, and to make things clear for the men reading this, also tell you why they have or have not worked.
The Hits -
The Practical Hit
Synopsis - * Wife wants a really nice handbag to take on her honeymoon, and the choices aren’t all that great in her small town. On one of his travels the husband picks up a large, clunky, plain black, terribly old-fashioned bag for her.
Verdict-15 years, and still going strong.
Why it worked
1-He heard her – he had paid attention to what she said, she didn’t have to ask specifically
2-He remembered what she wanted - also she was newly wed, anything would have worked then!
3-He got expert advice – since he had no clue what to get, he asked his friend, a leather buyer for Nike, to help.
4-Quality - the bag wasn’t trendy(what can you expect from two men, really) but the quality was to die for!
Cost - Low budget
Other gifts that fall in this category are
a Swiss knife(in her key-chain size, not the I’m a macho man and I carry the world in my pocket size), because she breaks her nails removing the plastic wrapping on CD and cassette covers, and a mini Maglite because she always goes to movies late and stumbles in the dark.
These cost very little and become extra extra special when the reason for buying such a normally boring and practical gift is explained.
The Sentimental Hit
Synopsis - * Again on one of his travels, the husband sees an old lady sitting on a street corner selling handkerchiefs, and buys his wife half a dozen.
Verdict-After she uses and loses 5, she puts the last one away. More than 10 years later she still has it.
Why it worked
1-He thought about her – he didn’t wait for an ‘occasion’
2-The sentimental angle to it – old lady on a street corner, etc
3-Design – they were delicate and beautiful
Cost – Practically no-budget
The Super-stunner Hit
Synopsis - * Our hero sees a pendant that he likes in an airport duty free, doesn’t have either the time or money to buy it, so draws the design out on a piece of paper, gives it to a jeweller friend to duplicate, and presents it to his wife 3 months later for her birthday.
Verdict-He remembers, puts in so much of effort and it is a diamond pendant – how wrong can he go with that!
Why it worked
1-He thought about her - god forbid the diamonds brought to mind somebody else!
2-He remembered her birthday almost 6 months in advance – the wife will drop not-so-subtle hints if that’s what it takes to get her her birthday gift, but it’s so much nicer when these things are spontaneous.
3- He did many things totally out of character – he doesn’t like shopping, he doesn’t draw, he usually has to be prompted to remember special occasions.
4- Effort – he usually prefers not to do any thinking about gifts and to hand her some cash and say ‘Here, buy yourself a birthday present.’ This took time, thought, and planning.
Cost – Fairly big budget
The other gift that falls in this category is lingerie. During those years when nice lingerie was still not widely available in India, on his travels he would take bits of paper with numbers scribbled on them, and shop for her. It was a super hit, especially because she knew how difficult this was for him to do, and how embarrassed he was by the whole exercise.
Men, do remember this - the value of a gift is directly proportional to the effort/difficulty in obtaining it.
The Snob-value Surprise Hit
Synopsis - * One birthday she opens a brown paper bag(yeah I know!) to find a small, white, heavy, rectangular object that he tells her she could use to store and play about 2500 songs. It is an iPod.
Verdict-He makes it possible for her to enjoy music(which she’s crazy about) anywhere, anytime, with a(at that time) to die for gadget. After several years of use and abuse, that 10GB iPod is still a much-loved part of her life.
Why it worked
1- He remembered her birthday without prompting.
2- Exclusivity – Nobody else she knew had one of these things
3- The surprise factor - It filled a need she didn’t even know she had, and being a gizmo, was definitely not something she would have picked for herself
Cost – Mid-range
The Miserable Flops -
The Travel Iron in the Victoria’s Secret box
Why it flopped – * Now she finds that situation funny, but then she was(to put it mildly) not amused. An expectation was created and then dashed to bits.
The Red Wool Shawl
Why it flopped - * This is ok for his grandmother, not for his wife.
The Exotic Lingerie
Why it flopped - * Exotic lingerie(a different breed of animal from the regular stuff) is invariably in the size the man thinks the woman is, not the size she really is!
The Perfume
Why it flopped - * He was clueless about her preferences, and was shot down mercilessly!
So guys, you have it all here. A wide-screen laptop she has to *nag you into buying can be a flop, and a spontaneously picked up burger-shaped pillow(like Mubariz said in a review here) can be a hit. Take another look at my list - not at the gifts themselves, but the’why they worked’ Some of them are repeated over and over again – for a reason- the gift is only as important as the caring in the relationship.
Try my tips, and you’ll never have to say ’Woman, what on earth do you want!’ I guarantee that.
You can give thanks later.
Do leave your comments - We’d all love to know what has worked and what has flopped for you.
Show over!