One plyate Apom! One plyate Saaaru! Well, you would not hear these calls to the kitchen at Coconut Grove. These are reserved for those dingy holes in the wall kind of restaurants, which sadly is widespread across our garden city. This hotel is way above such joints which sadly to say is only good as far as the ambience goes, however, the quality of the food served here is akin to what you get in the aforementioned joints. It would be harsh to say that the tastiest item dished out in this quaint restaurant is the Kaveri (hope it is) water, yet CG does serve some signature dishes, which are unique, and to die for. Primary among them is the excellent Apam and Ulli Theeyal (accompaniment). This combination is unbeatable and tastes as good as my grandmas’ combination back in my backwaters home in Kerala. The buttermilk is also yummy which is tempered with mustard seeds; ginger pieces, whole red chillies and copious amounts of fresh curry leaves. This is probably and also very unlikely (since Malayalees are not famous for their buttermilk) the best buttermilk severed in the cantonment area. Bouquet time is over folks; let us come to the brickbats. We agree that this is a pucca Malayalee joint, then why in the heavens name are the chefs flaying all those sumptuous seafood. My benchmark of a good seafood restaurant is ascribed to 2 dishes, one the ubiquitous fish fry and then the fish curry. The fish fry is the simplest of dishes to prepare and strangely CG does not get this right. The fish is fresh though but the taste is awful. I attribute this to the deep frying process they adopt, which is to my mind a cardinal sin. The 2 main fish fries offered here are the Sear or King fish and the Black Pearl (Karimeen). I ordered a Karimeen fry and it arrived on a platter attractively decorated with a colourful garnish, but the chef had given the treatment to the poor fish. It was charred black; and I could have used the fish for my barbeque as fuel! Needless to say I was livid, what a waste of good Karimeen (Karimeen is a backwater fish, which is found very deep in the water and caught by expert fishermen without the aid of nets). Deep-frying a fish is an absolute no no for me, the classical method of frying fish is to marinate for long hours and shallow fry slowly on a tawa. Compulsions may be driving these restaurateurs to adopt such abhorring methods. Incidentally, the best fish fry you can nibble on can be found in Fish Land, situated in Majestic area. The CG fish curry is passable; there are umpteen versions of fish curry found across the country and it is unfair to compare this versatile dish. Nonetheless, the fish curry (Allepey Fish curry) of Karavalli is the best I have tasted till date anywhere in the country. So folks, CG fails my litmus test as far as a seafood joint is concerned, there are several other seafood joints in Bangalore that offer authentic regional seafood. Some of them are Kudla (in Ramanshree Hotel, Next to Woodlands), Kubay, Padi Pura (both in Koramangala) and above all Karavalli.