*So why do we need love and relationships?
*Scientifically speaking, as in most of the Animal kingdom, we tend to be attracted towards a person who our uncouncious mind thinks carries a great set of genes or is going to be a good partner in raising the offspring . But we humans like things more complicated, dont we?
It is important to find a loving relationship with someone because in todays time so many people are thirsty for love . But the sad thing is that either most of us are too selfish to take part in a loving relationship or we just rush into a relationship for instant gratification . It is important to prepare ourselves for a relationship just like we want to wash our hands before having food . we need to understand ourselves and know what we want in partner .
Are you ready for a relationship?
*We often expect maturity to come with age but the truth is, sometimes age comes alone . I have my own needs & problems . Which is also true for my gf/friends/relations/everyone else in the world . So either I can choose to ignore everyone else and focus on myself or my needs, or I can get over myself and learn to put others first . Real maturity is knowing that the world does not revolve around me . It is seeing the big picture . To make marriage/relationships work both partners must be responsible . relationships work when each partner stops asking’what can my spouse do for me?’ and starts taking the responsibility to ask’what can I do for my spouse?’
Choosing the right person
*Matrimonial ad: Wanted convent educated, tall, beautiful, homely, intelligent girl .
What boys want: hot looks, lovely eyes, nice legs and other assets .
What girls want: I dont know .
I cant define the right person but I thought about a few things:
1) Do looks matter? in movies, on TV .yes. in real life dont think so . I’ve never heard about relationships working on looks alone . looks do attract infinite infatuation but I think after a few days the person who looks more beautiful to you is not the one with better looks but the one who loves you more .
2) Money/Status/Background etc? well, it depends. But ultimately the things that bring fulfillment involve others. No matter what money, a person who is entirely self focused will always feel restless and hungry.
3) Sex:( I always bring this up, hehe). I recently read in a novel " sex is the consolation you have when you cant have love." But i’m not going on much details here.
4) Big things/ Small things: It is very imp. to prioritize what you want in a partner. Will you give up looks for someone who is well natured ? or vice versa? priorities differ for each person . They may be money, moral values . or something else . It is important to identify what are the most imp. things for you in a partner . Because the big truth is that you cant have it all.
5) Identifying good relationships : The best relationships are the ones where you are comfortable and at ease with yourself . Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn that anyone who does not bring you alive is too small for you .
Rising in Love:
*The building blocks of a healthy relationships are: compromise, trust, respect, communication(and more I might not know) . Also is imp. the belief in the importance of your relationship that you both hold .
I’ve never been in a long term relationship, but in a long one compromise is important . Just like at sea sometimes the more manuovreable boat has to give way to the more rigid one . And flexibility is a good thing .
Mutual trust and respect are very important for a healthy communication .Real conversations . not about frivolry but what goes on between you, what you want from life & each other . And communication is the single most important factor that differentiates happy from unhappy relationships . In fact if you want a healthy relationship keep communication on top of the must have’s . Luckily this is something that can be worked on and improved, improving our lives and relationships . want a tip? Try this Game :
Try this with anyone, even your best friend you think you know so well .Next time you meet, do just one thing . Listen . Let them talk . Listen to them . Consciously keep off any interruptions, prejudice and judgements from your side and encourage them to speak . Try this once and see the difference yourself . It works . From impressing someone to solving biggest fights, the most effective solution is your ear .
remember something they said in Bluffmaster: The most important thing in life( contary to what is widely believed) is not money, but it is love .
P.S.:This review will be incomplete without reading other peoples comments and suggestions .