I was raised in an abusive home. Being the oldest of six children, I was to blame when the kids did something wrong. I was also the rebel. By the time I turned sixteen, I had turned to drugs and alcohol to ease my pain. My dad, being an alcoholic, laid into me on a regular basis, to the point where-if I turned him in-they may have taken me out of the home. I couldn’t dress for gym in high school, because most of the time, I had welts on my legs from the belt my dad used on me. It’s hard to think about to this day. It still hurts. On the day after my eighteenth birthday, I left for good, and my parents disowned me. I didn’t talk to my parents for approximately 1 1/2 years, in fact, I called on the first Christmas after I left, and as soon as my mom answered and found out who was calling, she hung up.
So, basically, I felt that my family didn’t care whether I lived or died, and at that point, neither did I. I was heavy into drugs and alcohol, had no place to live, had no money and no job. This went on for almost two years. I was a mess. No one cared about me-especially me. I was so deep in depression and almost committed suicide with sleeping pills-only someone found me and rushed me to the hospital. Then, along came a man who showed me that he cared, and no matter what I did to try to get rid of him (since I felt I didn’t deserve him), he wouldn’t go away. We partied it up for almost three years-the abuse started shortly after 6 mos. Then, he decided to better himself and join the army. I joined him later. We were married another three years.
I had gone through two miscarriages and was now pregnant with the third to be. He beat me so bad that two weeks later, I lost my last chance of a child. I finally left him after almost seven years of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. I am so much happier now. I’ve had a hysterectomy, due to damage, and I’ve had to deal with that. I have no children, but in a way, it would have been much worse if I had. I am independent now, and I don’t take anything like that from anyone. I have a wonderful man who loves me, and treats me right. For all of those who are in an abusive relationship-my words to you are GET OUT! The abusive person is not going to change. Don’t ’’I’m Sorries’’ get old? Trust me. And listen to your instincts. Don’t ignore them. They’re telling you the truth!