At this age, still single and writing about’Dealing with Divorce’ sounds crazy, but what inspired me to write are AGAIN the reviews of other friends who have written/commented on same topic. I think, I have total different way of looking at things at times and this is again one such moment and topic on which I have total different views.
Before I jump into the topic, first question arises in my mind is’What is Divorce?’’Is it just two people living under the same roof decides not to live together any longer?’ or something more than that. My personal definition of divorce is different from others look at it. For me, divorce is’Breaking of a Relationship’. That relationship can be between parents and child, between friends, between loved ones, and between people who are already married. Yes for me breaking of any good relationship is divorce.
Many people have commented previously about what are the reasons for people getting divorced? And according to me the basic reason is ’LACK OF COMMUNICATION’. Communication plays a very important role in any relationship. More you communicate, more you understand other person. More you understand more faith and trust you develop in him/her. More trust and faith you have, more tolerant you become with his/her views and opinion.
Why tolerance is important? Because, no two people on this earth are same and have similar views and ideas. All differ with others in some way or the other. Once you have basic tolerance against a person and just accept his/her ideas and views, instead of just criticizing and holding you very BIG EGO, chances of misunderstanding are very very less. And when there is no misunderstanding there can’t be divorce. So communication I think is the key ingredient of TRUE RELATIONSHIP.
Dealing with divorce(speaking only between partners) arises, once there is a breakage and misunderstanding. I personally believe’Prevention is better than Cure’ and it holds good in this case too. Guys, there is no need to get divorce if you can solve the problem at the first point by communicating and trusting your partner.
Yes, if you are forced into this inevitable thing, then I suggest the following. Divorce does not mean that you should not talk with your partner any more. Yes, one relationship as a partner did not workout that does not mean that you both can’t be friends. Trust me, one can become good friends. I have seen it and I believe in it too. It’s just that your opinions are so different on each and every topic that you don?t want to stay under one roof. If you disagree on this, let me ask you guys some question’Don’t you have difference of opinion with your friends? Don’t you guys argue? And just because of that do you really break your friendship?’ Answer is obvious and you all know very well what it is. So end of one relationship does not mean it can’t be a starting for another one. Just keep your EGO aside and it will work out fine.
Just to summarize other things which I think is going to help after actual divorce not staying as a friend with your partner are:
1) Make new friends.
2) Initially don’t stay alone.
3) Keep yourself occupied with work(whatever you like).
4) Believe in’Smile today, tomorrow it can be worse’.
5) Don’t run away from the fact that you are divorced. When questioned, face it and respond back with confidence.
6) Don’t let others demoralize you.
7) Fight for your rights if you have to(If you have to go to the court and file a case against your ex-partner).
and last but most important of all ’Take care of yourself. You are precious in this world and you possess something that nobody else does’
I will just hope nobody faces this situation but if you do, KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP.
BYE