I will mention below my severe illness, how it affected me and most of all how I dealt with it.
I had a hard time while I was growing up. I had to deal with unusual habits(strange for the most part). I was pretty much aloof, never had any friends and I kept my problems all to myself. I came to a realization when I read a book about my circumstances. I was suffering from OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). It means an anxiety disorder which is potentially disabling condition that can persist throughout a person’s life. The individual who suffers from it becomes trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts and behaviors that are senseless and distressing but extremely difficult to overcome.
My habits started small until it got out of hand. I constantly wash my hands making sure it’s clean. I stay in the bathroom for a long period of time. It got to the point where my hands was bleeding and very dry and cracked. I keep opening and closing doors repetitively until I got it right. I turn the lights on and off until it feels right then I leave it alone. My thoughts bothered me a lot. It tells me to do things or else something bad will happen. It get so annoying that I felt helpless. Sometimes I get tired of it all and just cry. I never felt so alone in facing my problem. I want to reach out and seek help but I don’t know how. It makes me wonder why I suffer and wondering where God is when I need him the most.
My boyfriend knew what was going on so one day he took me to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist recommended that I do some breathing exercises. It never worked for me in fact my illness was strong that it can’t be solved. It took several years to find a real solution to my problem. Now I am seeing a psychiatrist that gives me free samples of medications. Nowadays I am able to cope with my illness. My problem still exist but no longer worse. I thank God everyday that I live life without constant agony.