‘Work sucks. That’s why it’s work.’
’If work did not suck, then it would not be work, and hence would not suck. If something did suck, it definitely must be work.’
You must have heard people say “I love my job.” If they did, they are referring to idling, slouching, grazing at work, not work at work. These people prefer cubicles of loneliness to day dream. In deference to work they have fun at office. A few such workers are below.
‘Hey Guys, checkout this website. My friend says its funny…’
20 mins later, “hold on, it’s almost finished downloading” Till we realize that the site’s down. The trouble we took to open a fun site (took us a few hours) could be called work.
It’s a Friday. Office can be a golf club with you driving frequently to the canteen for gossip. I receive a request to accept a meeting with my boss the following week. After a couple of moments of unfettered toil (Clicking the Accept button on a meeting request in Outlook - one mouse click), I do a tribal Jiggle to celebrate my rare moments of productivity… ;)
Recently, my friend was glum. The gist is below
Why so glum, chum? Are you ok?
Yeah, I’m ok.
Are you sure? You look steampressed and ironed.
Yeah, I’m ok.
Hey, I’m not just your colleague. I’m also your friend. After all, we are from the same place. Tell me, it’s ok…
Hmmm, I had a fight with her (spouse) this morning.
Except that. Now back to work.
The sweat and grind at office, your boss just passes you. You are hunched looking into the monitor perplexed.
Your boss thinks, “and finally the dude works”
Your thought process, ” Bad hangover. Should I have lassi or lime juice?”
That’s fun, not work.
And work?
Work is a dreadful noun, not a pleasant verb. If it were a verb in the same category as sleeping, yawning, dancing, eating, playing, lazing, slouching, dreaming, wooing (your girl/guy) or even Hic!ing, we would have loved it. And as nouns go, work is an uncommonly common ‘activity’. Picking up your clothes, washing, cooking are a few of them. Of course you ain’t earning anything from it, but then you save from ‘outsourcing’ work to the dhobi or the cook. Now that’s work.
So work is an activity to derive or save money. If money were not invented and you were able to get food for free, would you work? Ummm, I dunno, you need to think it over before you make a choice. That’s too much hard work. Let’s just say, if all the pleasures of life were free, then I am all for it. Why work?
If you were to watch a movie, then you still need to pay for it. Pleasure /leisure activities cost. Those trips to an amusement park can cost a packet (Joy for the kids). Of course, sorting out those 50 fun mails you receive on a Monday is also work. But then, you don’t earn from it, do you? In other words, you work to have food, survive and fun. But then, what is work?
A mechanic loves to slouch in the comfort of your car when you service it. Any work inside of the car takes hours while it takes a jiffy to fix anything exterior. An oil change takes about 15 mins while replacing a flash bulb (in the interiors of the car) might take an hour. (Of course if you ain’t looking) This new method of work is slouching at work. A few tips on slouching at work
When you really feel you can’t take it anymore, ignore people around you. When they call you the first time, act busy with a tough nut. The second time when you know it’s time to respond - Just say yes, ok or no (with your trademark frown of course)… That way you look too busy even to answer.
Talk loud when you have some activity. Let your boss overhear you. That way, you are discussing about it even without working. You can also say Work sucks when your boss knows you have oodles of work. He might even lift your burden and give it to someone else…
If you are a programmer, write a complex program with all the irritants in the company though the output is to print the words Work Sucks. Print it - whichever font, bold or italics. The next hour muse on how it could have been done better. That’s slouching at work along with work while we try to define work. So what’s work?
A Rupee coin has fallen down. Pick it up. There - That’s work!!! Unfortunately you have this severe back pain as you bend to pick it. Though it may not be back breaking work, it still is breaking your back. Is it wrong to assume that the weight of the coin has given you the backache? Does work need to be that painful? Actually no, though it might be. If you are a techie and sit long hours at your chair, expect that back pain to increase or begin. If you are a construction worker, you are not working. You are exercising. ;) Given the same food and living conditions, the construction worker has a much better rate of surviving longer since he exercises all day long. Though both are defined as work. One is paid to exercise physically and the other to exercise mentally. Keeping this in mind, let’s define work again.
Work is defined as back breaking Oops, ok a painful routine to exercise oneself either mentally or physically or both to gain or save money… So work.
Next time anyone says he likes his work, ask him to work 7 days a week 365 days a year without a raise. Of course I am working, why else do you think I said it sucks? Now get back to work. Uhhh before you pick up a big brick or those hard bound Mahabharata books to throw at me - bye…