Hmmmm. so we have tough times where we study(or work, or whatever), do we? who doesn’t?
(first for some humor - let’s try to diffuse the tension.)
I have problems at work, he has problems at school, she has problems at the hearth. part of life, problems are. welcome to the real world, people. and may others smile upon you!
a great wit(probably me) once said -’If life is sweet alone, how do you know what’sweet’ is?’ good, no?
I remember reading an article a few years ago - this was on the so-called rat race. among other things, it said, the rat race is made all the more enjoyable not by success(or possible failure, too) at the end of it, but by the thrill of racing.
I need to step over someone’s toes(head too, sometimes), and someone else needs to do the same to me.
vicious circle. dog-eat-dog. the rat race is one great round running stadium - damn thing never ends. you can’t run away, there’s no escape, so you might as well enjoy it. at the minimum, adjust your lifestyle, your thinking, your attitude.(bangaloreans(karnataka, south india) generally say’swalpa adjust maadkoLi, saar’ - translated to’please understand, compromise and live-let-live’, with a’sir’ appended for added emphasis.
(of course, another wag says that at the end of a rat race, you’re still a rat - one man’s meat is another’s poison, I guess. the moron).
(okay, the crazed psycho doc kicks in here.)
let me start(seriously this time!) by saying that everybody needs to compete, for whatever purpose they are here on earth. try to imagine a life where there is no competition, nobody needing to improve their lot, everybody content and happy and secure, nobody needs to earn(or study or whatever - insert your most detested phrase here) more than they currently do, and everybody appreciates everybody else for just what they are - remember, in this scenario all of us are just mirror images of each other. there would no be’discovering’ that lover, no’hidden surprises’ in your boss / colleague, no’tough’ questions at exam-time, no. the list is endless.
not very easy to visualize, isn’t it? infact, even if it is, remember that it wouldn’t work for more than a couple of days - people tend to dislike stasis. the more dynamic you are, the better you enjoy your life - so you better attempt your shot at dynamism.
and this is where the crux lies - in dynamism lies the’rat-race’. the only constant is change - quite a paradox, but just work with me here and you’ll know it’s true. it’s the way things are meant to be, and I sure hope it’s the way things stay.
one thing that differentiates mediocre and great talents is a magic wand - that of’attitude’. the great chap understands that his role in life is to make the other chap happy, comfortable, secure - while this mediocre guy takes the most productive time out of the great guy’s life. but both chaps are necessary - give them time, and they’ll both learn, live, love.
why do you feel at home in, let’s say, a wood, a forest, a place of hills / dales / mountains - because you feel nature around, right? you do not feel the artificial barriers that people build around themselves. you do not feel that you are an outsider - you’re a part of the scenery.
this, then - is what helps me personally reduce my apprehension whenever I feel uncomfortable, or feel heavy thoughts approach, or face tough times - I try to get into the other man’s shoes, try to understand why he does what, and learn to appreciate it. that’s the key - understand, appreciate, most of all respect the other person - regardless of who or what or how they are.
this is how I deal with tough times - wherever I am(or was) - school / college / peer pressure / work / social interaction / the local joint, etc.
remember that everybody has a reason for doing something - that reason may not be visible to others, but there is always a sound justification(it’s another matter that its soundness may be only momentary, but it is there).
if your classmate hurts you(wantonly or unknowingly), know that there is a reason. with that attitude, talk to him / her. find out what the situation is. and see if you can help. in most cases, they really do need your help. that’s why they seek your attention.
if your colleague or spouse does not see your point of view, try to get to know theirs - they may be right, after all.
nobody refuses an outstretched hand, especially if it’s offering something - and something as deep and profound as help is never turned away. deep down, at least.
i’m not saying that you must be a doormat - no ma’m - never! you have as much right to your own individuality as she to hers - and that’s where the compromise starts.
if you get a chance to, read this story - it’s about god and how he visited earth via radio airwaves and stayed with us for seven days(i’m sorry I can’t help you beyond this) - the most interesting part is right at the very end - he says’live and learn, my children. for the world is a school, and you are all but students.’
with that, I sign off.