There’s the reason why everyone talks about The DaVinci Code and not about this book. I have no idea what that reason would be, because I thought Angels & Demons was mediocre so I never bothered to read the The DaVinci Code. Anyway, I was bored and a copy of this was sitting at the library for a quarter and I thought "WTF, mate, I’ll give it a go."
The first page of chapter 1 starts with Susan Fletcher waking from a romantic dream to the ringing of the telephone:
"Susan, it’s David. Did I wake you?"
She smiled, rolling over in bed. "I was just dreaming of you. Come over and play."
He laughed. "It’s still dark out."
"Mmm." She moaned sensuously. "Then definitely come over and play. We can sleep in before we head north."
That is not a transcription typo, or the manifestation of my unfocused rage. It really does read’"Mmm." She moaned sensuously.’ Please feel free to vomit if you need to; I’ll wait.
David then proceeds to postpone their plans to celebrate their six-month engagement due to something hush-hush, like maybe his being a big homo. C’mon, what sort of man is going to pass up some sweet, sweet lovin’ before disappearing on a mystery mission? The kind who likes other men, that’s what kind. A handful of pages later, it becomes clear that Dan Brown has read too many Clive Cussler novels as we’re treated to a description of David Becker:
"Becker was dark-a rugged, youthful thirty-five with sharp green eyes and a wit to match. His strong jaw and taut features reminded Susan of carved marble. Over six feet tall, Becker moved across a squash court faster than any of his colleagues could comprehend. After soundly beating his opponent, he would cool off by dousing his head in a drinking fountain and soaking his tuft of thick, black hair. Then, still dripping, he’d treat his opponent to a fruit shake and a bagel."
So then, after all this ran through my immature little mind, I remembered I had other books to read-books that didn’t suck horrifically within the first ten pages. Yay for other books!
Oh, and I sold it to a used book shop for a dollar, so it was worth the quarter. Yay for used book shops!