I write this review as I sit in an asylum cursing myself as to why I paid Rs.200 for my own fking misery. I watched it 1st day night-show. Promos, Movie Trailers all top notch. Excellent Publicity. TOI gave 4/5. Biggest Fking CON ever. SRK’s over-acting kills the movie instantly. There is not one instant where he acts sensibly. Then there is the typical phoren location, Hollywood-stunts’ copy. Full of S**t.
Plot: In the beginning Don2 kicks the sh*t out of some guys and then starts laughing. Don2 surrenders himself to his ‘wild and sexy cat’ in a CLASSIC JOKER move. Then he spoils one of the best dialogues in the history of mankind. “Make me an offer I cant refuse”. Marlon Brando is cursing him from the grave. And Don2 is still laughing. And cleaning toilets. Now it’s time for ‘PRISON BREAK’ with the good old friend/foe/lover/ass Vardhan. Enter pregnant-boobs Lara Dutta-song sequence. This is the place where I give the movie its first-half star, for the blond extras that have no idea what lyrics they are lip-syncing to and showing enough tits to keep me on my seat. Okay now Chop-Chop its blackmail time guys!! We are going to blackmail the vice president of a German national bank. Obviously he has to be an Indian because Indian Globalization is at an all-time high (All hail Russell Peters!).
You will feel like the plot is starting to take shape. INTERMISSION. If you are smart enough and care about your mental health more than your wallet you will leave. But if you are a true optimist and/or a fool (like me) then then stay equipped with a good psychiatrist. The 2nd half starts with a party where Hrithik enters and does what he does best. Dance with PC. And just when you get the feeling that it’s KRRRISH all-over again, he is in the car removing his ‘Ethan Hunt’ face-mask. And Voila!! It’s Don-Part2. Biggest fking surprise of the century. Then there is a car-chase with PC in her party dress. Obviously she doesn’t catch “Him”. Because DON=CREATOR OF GOD. Movie starts getting slower and slower showing that they have taken the proverb “slow and steady wins the race” too seriously. Don2 is still laughing. The robbery starts. And it goes on and on. They are stealing some money printing plates apparently (anybody remember A-team, ocean etc.). Don2 escapes with the plates (as always). But he gets caught outside because he can’t leave without doing some DDLJ stuff. So he takes PC back in again shows her how much he loves her until PC gets shot. This where I give the movie its 1st whole star. But then ‘I take a serious fall’ and I wake up. And I take back half star. Because she is not dead in spite of getting shot with a .38 (She can’t be dead because they still want to make Don9, 10, 11 etc.) Don2 beats the bad guys and comes out holding PC in a RA-One pose. Then HIS EXCELLENCY shows how he is the smartest guy in the world as he takes the plates, immunity and a DUCATI. He is still laughing. Now we have to watch his sorry as mouthing the only good dialogue remaining. “Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi….” Believe me you don’t want to catch him.
Direction: I had lots of expectations from the person who used opera for the first time in Bollywood. But the job is half-a*sed.
Acting:
SRK: Over-Acting overdose. They should find a better Don next time. This guy sucks. He still hasn’t recovered from Ravan act.
PC: The cleavage-show doesn’t quite make up for the acting skills and the nose-jobs. Boman Irani: Tries to save the movie from a total acting disaster. But he is not allowed to succeed. Om Puri, Lara Dutta, Sahil Shroff: Cameo.
Music: SH*T… Nothing exciting.
Dialogues: More than half catch-phrases are in English. The ones that aren’t have been delivered in a truly pathetic way.
Story/Plot: The story is as used up, beaten and battered as it can get. But Bollywood still can’t get over the robbery plots, can they? The story has somewhat been modified to suit the Bollywood audience but it still sucks. Where is the originality???
Screenplay: Very Slow.
Overall: This movie is a true insult to film-making and acting. Go watch the movie only if you have a horny girlfriend and no place to make out. For those who have already watched it, join me in my sanitarium.
For a huge SRK fan: One time watch.
For a regular movie goer: Enjoy your Holidays and wait for the next Friday.
I don’t care if anybody likes this review or not. This is the first time I am reviewing anything. I am doing this only because I want to vent my anger out.