I came across this book quite by accident while trying to replenish my stock of English books here in Germany. I was first drawn to it by the cover, then reading the name got very curious indeed. Yes I have to admit that on reading the back cover I was won over by the fact that Chris was infact the ex drummer of Genisis, having retired at the ripe old age of 17. So what is ’Driving Over lemons’?
For me it is the most refreshingly layedback biography I have ever read. It is an insight into an ongoing story of two people, Chris and Ana who want to sell up and move abroad(SPAIN) and a humourous account of how they do it and what follows. We are first introduced to Chris, who, armed with their savings is chauffeuring one fiesty Georgina from property to property in the hope of buying. Her role we find out is to act as a ’go between estate agent’. Realistically she is only a ’normal’ head strong expatriot, who has assumed the role of helping foreingners buy property and the locals to sell theirs and she is very much in the ’know’ on what is available or not. It is in the hills of Las Alpurras ( in the foothills of the Sierra nervada-South Granada) where cigarette wielding Georgina navigates Chris through the mountains and tells him to ’DRIVE OVER LEMONS’ when he tries to dodge all the lemons which have fallen from the trees and lay scattered over the road. Although Chris has a basic understanding of the Spanish language, it is Georgina who takes control and on finding ’EL VALERO’, a mountain farm owned by Pedro and maria, she tells Chris to ’Slap’ some money in Pedros hand and say nothing more. Hence Chris and Ana have now become the proud owners of a mountain side farm named ’EL VALERO’ Hang on there, did Chris really want this farm???Good question and one Chris himself must ponder on realisation that he infact had no say in the matter. Now to tell the wife. You see as glamourous as ’EL VADERO sounds, it is infact a group of buildings and stables spread over a few different levels of a steep rock and at varying degrees of disrepair. There are olive, almond and lemon groves as well as store rooms and pens for goats and chickens.
The only problem is that it lies on the wrong side of the river with no access road, water supply or electricity. Does Ana accept his buying this farm? Well yes she does and here begins a truley explosive story of how Chris and Ana ’survive’ their new life in Spain. Chris is no novice when it comes to writting about travels, having taken part in a few travel guides in his time. He also sheers sheep in Sweden, a lucrative business which helps bring in the pennies and he also does a few odd sheering jobs in England too as well as play guitar in restaurants in London. Putting his business in order before moving therefore is not really a problem. Whereas Ana must find a manager for her Holticultural business in Essex and fill out lots of forms to be able to bring her dog BEAUNE (named after a favorite french wine) to Spain. Chris has a very intelligent, observant and humourous talent when writting this book, introducing us to a host of truley , wonderfully coulourful characters. Be it the ’Pompous Fart’ Pedro, who they have bought the farm from, who insists ’we are poor people and now we are poorer’ and rides bare back on his horse through the dry barren hills, singing to his menagerie of animals....a goat, a pair of cows, a kid, a grubby sheep and a pair of dogs. Or the amazingly talented Domingo, who ’Cristobal’ (his new name on arrival) forges a very strong and loyal freindship with. It is Domingo who proves Chris’ saviour throughout the book, knowing all the local ’peaseants’ and their needs and proving a Jack of all trades, suprising Chris when he can turn his hand to anything. It is only Domingo who gets away with telling Chris he is a ’Dick in Vinegar’, a local insult insinuating he is not doing something right and is being lazy. And it is Domingo who encourages Chris’s ideas of bringing the 20th century to ’OLD SPAIN’. We are introduced to many expats living in this area, who like Chris and Ana wish to live self sufficiently.
A Danish family quite happily share their shower space with them as long as they ’Don’t get the dead goat hanging there wet’!!! As I mentioned earlier, Chris has fantacies concerning making the ’peasant’ life and age old traditions easier and he does touch on the question of the moral rights and issues here. He does make a success of using his sheep sheering equipment on some of the farms, with humourous results but fails drastically when he suggests cutting out the middle man when wanting to sell his sheep at the market. We take part in the yearly slaughtering of the pigs, which Chris describes wonderfully and with elaborate detail centred on how no waste comes from any animal. A book definately worth a read or two. Share in the joy and tribulations as Chris and Ana learn to deal with their new surroundings and struggle to get their farm in order without upsetting the local community too much. I just wish it hadn’t had to end as His style of writting is addictive and his characters are enjoyable and their life sounds just great. Available in paperback for 6.99GBP and distributed by The Penguin Group, this is a must for the book shelves.