In my experience there are two main types of bad films.
One type of film has pretensions of being something grand and takes itself too seriously. All this is, of course, done in a horribly heavy-handed fashion. You don’t laugh at such a
film. It does not inspire mirth – intentional or unintentional. It evokes only
anger, frustration and sheer boredom.
The other type eschews some of the above mentioned elements but mainly it is trying to be a
kick-ass entertainment. This is the type of film where you laugh. Unfortunately, this laughter is not withthe filmmakers but at them.
“Drona”, my friends, is both kinds rolled into one. Goldie Behl’s
brainchild is DOA not because it has paucity of ideas but because these ideas
never went on from the level of kindergarten to the realm of grown-ups. Add to
it the totally inept, ridiculous execution and you have the perfect recipe for
unintentional fun and crushing boredom.
We begin by some made-on-the-spot mumbo-jumbo about how Lord Shiva had left “Amrit” in the hands of one family and the man protecting it is called “Drona”.
In the context of the story, one drona is killed by the treacherous magician Riz
(yeah) and the mother sends the dead drona’s son into hiding. This
would-be-droner is brought up by evil aunt a la Mr. Potter. This boy, who would
have logically grown up to become a thin, scared individual flares into a fat
Abhishek Bachchan. It is the testament to Mr. Bachchan’s dedication for the
role that he does not even bother to lose weight to look younger or fitter
later in the film.
It is difficult to capture the horribleness of the sequences that follow in a
limited review space(I am, however, writing a scene-by-scene analysis of this
wreck). But I will try my best to summarize the action here: Riz
Raizada is still looking for amrit after all these years. In his introductory scene he and creates a clone and then promptly dispatches him off with his fingernail while mouthing truly atrocious monologue!
On his birthday Bachchan goes to attend this magic show by Riz – a show, by the
way, so awful that the film it is in almost pales in comparison. Almost. He is
one of the lucky ones to go and meet Riz personally. Riz spots the tacky
bracelet gifted to Abhishek by a blue petal! Riz(somehow) understands that