The CRS Effect - Charu-Roshni-Srikkanth Effect
First of all, ah! What a name! Fair and Lovely Fourth Umpire! Of course it?s the sponsors of this show who have prefixed their name to it, but then doesn?t it look weird? Well, if the name sounds weird, then the show is even weirder. Don?t believe me? Just read on?
I had the misfortune of watching this show during the recent test matches against Pakistan. Gosh! What a panel of experts they have on board. They are seemingly heavyweights of the good ol? DD commentary teams although it is very well known that they cannot differentiate between a square cut and a leg glance! So let me take them one by one.
Charu Sharma
Allow me to twist that idiom of Hindi, because he seems like Kaano mein Andha Raja! He tries to do a Harsha Bhogle type of job sitting on the sets of a cosy DD studio, but he isn?t even a shadow of Harsha. He is a 40-something years old balding man, who is gaining weight by the day and loosing touch with his cricket by the nights.
Roshni Chopra
Okay, I have a crush on her (I?m kidding hehe), but really I like her. Why? Because she doesn?t shoot her mouth off like Mandira used to. She makes animated expressions and gawks at Srikanth whenever he speaks (more on him in a while). Of course, she is DD?s attempted answer to Mandira, the queen of gimmicks who comes back every time Sony-Max airs any Cricket match. Mandira has a glam factor attached to her, but funny that Roshni isn?t a glam doll as Mandira is. Why? Is it the DD effect? It has to be, because hardly anyone watches this show.
Atul Wassan
Paaji tussi chup raha karo. Ya Phir, you should decide which language you want to speak. Kabhi kabhi you speak Hindi and sometimes aap angrezi bolte ho. Yeh kya funda hai? Now this guy thinks of himself as the best medium fast bowler in the world who was just a little too unlucky to miss out on being a long time member of the Indian cricket team. Lekin yeh to hamara misfortune hai that we have to listen to him, sometimes even on that weird Hindi commentary of DD-1, jaha par aap ballebaaz aur gendbaaz mein differentiate nahi kar paate ho.
Kris Srikanth
The perfect example of the fact that all good cricketers cannot be good commentators. He knows that he cannot speak Hindi, he still tries to speak Hindi and ultimately what comes out of his mouth is something that I would describe as Mumbaiiya tapori language with a South Indian accent! At times I end up laughing in raptures when I hear him. And whenever I look at him, I can?t help but smile as I recall the Fair and Lovely advertisement. I can bet a thousand bucks that the pretty gal wearing the pink dress in that commercial can be a better commentator than him.
Laxman Sivaramakrishnan
Now he is the Indian version of Bill Lawry. His motto - If it ain?t happening on the field, it gotta be happening in the studios of DD. He is the most excited person in the studio and sometimes even when he is in the commentator?s box (God! Please spare us!!!).
There are some other wierdos too who grace the sets of DD from time to time, like Venkat Sundaram, Mohinder Amarnath, Maninder Singh and some others. Each one of them is a candidate for a review on the 5 worst commentators of Cricket. Someday, I shall write on them too.
Now let me wonder on the female angle of cricket shows. Why Mandira? Or Roshni? Or Ruby? (remember her???) The ostensible reason of Set-Max to introduce Ruby (and later Mandira) was to popularize Cricket among the women. Ha! They got it all wrong. Mandira and now Roshni are only adding a glam factor to Cricket, which is not required. Even the out and out professional channel like ESPN fell to this trap and introduced the Shaz ?n Waz show. That was an even more weird show as we could see pretty (and some hot) girls sitting with Wasim and Ravi with their mouth wide open, staring into space as both of them discussed cricket.
Even my mom is better at commentating on cricket. Being a mother of 2 cricket crazy sons, my mom too has got an astute sense for cricket. Sometimes even I am stumped by her smart observations. The channels should instead invite some of the members of the women?s cricket team and ask them to add their own observations. That would mean some useful value addition to the shows and serve the dual purpose of popularizing women?s cricket in India. But the channels (as usual) have got it all wrong. People tune into TV just to watch cricket and not to look at what fashion statement Mandira or Roshni are making. Till date, Ten Sports hasn?t fallen into this trap. Lets see how long can they survive before being stung by the glam bee.
Question for you? Who can be a better female celebrity than Mandira? Give me your answers in the comments.