FALTU - Fakirchand And Lakirchand Trust University which have zero day experience in not training highly talented professionals. We are the only one college in the entire world which is created by 3 young, bored and lethargic students who didn’t get admission in any other college. The owners proudly created a fake university and advertised it to please the parents. We have a long list of OVER qualified teachers who will not be appointed in our college to disturb any aspirant students.
The best attraction of the college is that it will not be very homely. For all students who are fed up of accusation from their parents who insist to study, this will be an ideal shelter. We have hired a very old bungalow which was unsold for many years, despite nearly close bargains from many museums. A huge lot of books from old paper venders and collected and racked in our store room which you can call library. Our principal, Mr Baaji Rao who looks like Ritesh Deshmukh is a handsome and a young prospect for all aspiring students. Our manager, Google Chand who looks like Arshad Warsi is an enthusiastic trouble shooter who gives his best when the worst is the situation.
Now take your breath!! The best attraction of the college is its Canteen and party hall. The breakfast will be supplied in the swimming pool. Every night is party time and the college will be paying the bill of food and drinks, including Alcohol.
No uniforms are required in the college and it does not have a hostel. You can sleep anywhere you wish. There are no separate bedrooms for male and female. For anybody who wishes for ’Happy Hours’, they have to select their own bath rooms with their preferred partners. Sorry, no ragging is allowed in the college.
There is no Parent Teachers Association in this college as there are no teachers. Parents are not welcome here. If any parent is trespassing to the college accidently, there will be an alarm bell and each student has to run to the library to get some books and has to pretend that they are studying.
We do not offer any courses specifically. There will be a brain storming session for all students and the courses will be selected from the hobby groups the students are forming.
With over 150 minutes of working in partnership with aimless youth we have delivered a range of innovative training courses to meet the skill requirements for the community.
Choreography: This is the best course one can get from this otherwise Faltu university. Colourful, energetic, fast, creative and brilliant, admission to this course will be the best profitable investment. This course will produce the best of students where we have great masters of Bollywood all assembled to train the students in a competitive way.
Acting: This is a course which is meant for non starters. It never happens. Even the talented actors can get spoiled by this course no wonder the youngsters get completely unnoticed. Get admission in this course and we guarantee that you are spoiled for ever, burned and buried.
Screen Play writing and Direction: This is one course which can take you from amateur to professional level. When the course begins you will feel that this is completely faltu but by the time the course ends you will feel you are a highly professional screen play writer or director as the case may be. Even if you are getting inspired from Hollywood movies, we are not responsible where getting right ’ins-pirate-ion’ is the best of virtue bollywood can dream as on today.
Cinematography: This is an ok course full of colours and more colours, light and more lights and masala and mix of masalas. Don’t expect much from this course but an average cinematography course.
Costume Designer: Interesting at places, average on average, this course has nothing special for you to get noticed.
Gymnastics: This course will break all your expectations about gymnastics whatsoever and you will feel that you can be a Mr India (or Mrs India) at any coming day!
Cookery: The main item we will teach you is vegetable cutting. Otherwise the course will train you how to buy and eat from fast food stores.
QCD: Quick Car Designing: This is a short term course which will teach you how to design a car within a couple of weeks and make an original model in similar days.
DO (Doctor of operation): If you ever dream of operating a person as your hobby, you can join this course. The only operation you have to do is to cut a frog closing your eyes and faint next.
BOC: Bachelor of Chemistry: This is an explosive experimental opportunity for any aspiring candidates who can get a chance to mix all available chemicals in one bottle. You will be trained to create fire which can burn a bundle of books.
Courses are conducted in very natural environments including swimming pools, dance bars and grave yards. The best plus of these course are that a job is guaranteed after the successful completion of it.
Course Fees: Nil. You simply have to register on the fake university web site.
Number of Seats: As many as you like.
What you can expect from this University: A mix of fun and light moments. At places the fun gets embarrassing, otherwise most of the time it is neat. You may get bored at places, but keep you cool and by the finale you will be healed. You can also expect a meaning to the entire meaningless fun in the climax.
What you should not expect from this University: Discipline, logic, silence, a second for thoughts and lot more things like that.
Paul the Parrot’s comment: If it was guided by Amir Khan, I would have given 4 stars and it would have collected 50 Crores plus. As such I can only give 3 stars, out of which 2 stars are exclusively for the final 45 minutes.