I feel obliged to improvise an old joke about communism.“When will Indian cinema come of age”, they asked the super computer, after feeding it a variety of data about movies, on Hollywood, Bollywood, Lollywood( whatever else) and audience statistics, box office returns et al.The computer whirred and set to work. An interminably long time later it gave the answer.“2, 350 miles”The puzzled scientists tried again.Same result.And then a young assistant director said, “maybe it is because every film made in Bollywood gets us a step closer to Indian cinema coming age.This is a very feeble attempt, which will not even incite a smile. But the lack of humor as well as the tale in itself sums up aptly my impression of “Fanaa”.The film has everything. Religion, romance, mystery and history. Rather a little bit too much of everything. And also a remarkable set of coincidences. Aamir Khan as Rehan Qadri aka James Bond – with death defying- bringing-others-to-their-deaths- stunts, in the shadow of the voice of his grandfather who “will not permit him die” unless an all-important trigger is in the possession of the IKF( Somehow the full form escapes me and I do not feel inspired enough to run a net search to find it out). And there is Kajol, running, speaking acting DDLJ style. Kashmir to Delhi, a love to last forever( in this case the entire duration of the movie- which ends with a beautiful scene of marital bliss, husband and wife going for each other with guns…) with a tour guide, a one-night stand and bingo…yes the fecundity of an unmarried Hindi movie heroine is amazing. I mean married people try and try and try a number of times for the blessed event.. but anyhow, I digress. Can you forget a tight-lipped Tabu- please would someone explain why she needs to be so “professional” with sad sweet smiles and an irritated frown- or why at all does she have to be there. The film is confusing enough in itself. Or rather beautifully trying to obfuscate the viewer and not succeeding. The Azad Kashmir issue, welded with a family issue. Blind girl meets sighted guy, has her vision restored, guy vanishes.. resurfaces at her house.. and no one recognizes him. I mean it does take imagination to build this sort of a plot up. And find songs to match. That one must grant.Well the songs are beautiful. And Master Ali Haji as Rehan Jr very endearing. But that’s about all. No, I am being unfair, I must say the perpetual snowfall is very realistic as are the trees. Apart from these, I really do not find much to recommend the film.Actually the real mystery of the film was why it was banned by Narendra Modi. Perhaps he was part of the publicity stunt for it( remember the old PG Wodehouse adage that to make a book popular, a bishop must denounce it from the pulpit) Because otherwise, it would have got as Fanaa as its name.