A personal compilation of 5 Worst Hollywood Movies of the 1990?s, listed in no particular order, is as follows.
STRIPTEASE (1996)
Cast: Demi Moore, Burt Reynolds, Robert Patrick, Ving Rhames
What do you get when you try and bring together a stripper, her criminal ex- husband, a US politician, a burly bouncer, topless exotic dancers and a half asleep director? ?.a complete FIASCO! Striptease tries to show more than just bare skin, but it simply fails. A lot of attention has been given to Demi Moore?s body, which is clearly the selling point of the film, rather than her acting skills (ok, don?t make me laugh!). The film loosely revolves around Erin Grant, played by Demi Moore, a former FBI secretary who is fighting a custody battle for her 7-year-old daughter. She starts working as a stripper in a sleazy topless joint to earn money for a court appeal (huh!! I failed to understand why couldn?t she have found a descent job with her work experience).
By the way, Demi Moore just cannot pole-dance, even if her life depended on it. Burt Reynolds plays perpetually drunk congressman David Dilbeck, a regular at this club. An embarrassing incident in the club is captured on camera and Erin Grant soon gets involved in a game of blackmail and murder. The saving grace of this movie is Ving Rhames, who plays an excellent role as the club?s bouncer. All said, Striptease is a cheap and tasteless piece of entertainment.
THE AVENGERS (1998)
Cast: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery
The Avengers is an appalling and insipid remake of a 1960?s hit TV show. I dozed off midway through this awful flick. Don?t know why I paid money to watch such utter crap! The disorganized plot revolves around two British government agents John Steed (played by talented Ralph Fiennes) and Emma Peel (played by svelte and sexy Uma Thurman) working together in the hope of stopping a scheming villain, Sir August de Wynter (Sean Connery) from taking control over Earth?s weather conditions (yawn!?ZZzzz). Criminal Mastermind, Sir August, also happens to be one of the richest people in the world. I believe this is, by far, Sean Connery?s worst performance.
The Avengers is a cocktail of stupid humor, badly executed action scenes and dull jokes- undeniably, a sure contestant for Hollywood?s Hall of Shame! It?s beyond comprehension as to why Ralph Fiennes agreed to act in this eyesore. The only redeeming point about this movie is Uma Thurman- she looks quite stunning in the cat-woman kind of outfit. The Avengers is the worst TV show adaptation and will surely go down in history as one of the worst movies ever!
BATMAN & ROBIN (1997)
Cast: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, Chris O’Donnell & Alicia Silverstone
The latest Batman installment is, well?a COLD TURKEY! I really missed Tim Burton since screenwriter Akiva Goldsman and director Joel Schumacher make a mess this time. It?s a painfully unbearable movie. I wont even bother mentioning the absurd and brainless plot- it?s ridiculous! But the crux of the story remains the same- good battling evil. Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O?Donnell) team up with Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone) as they try and foil Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and seductive Poison Ivy?s (Uma Thurman) diabolical plans.
The dialogues are mundane, characters lack energy and the movie insults the viewer?s intelligence. Witless one-liners like- ?Iceman cometh?, ’’Let’s kick some ice?, ’’Tonight, hell freezes over’’, ’’My garden needs tending? makes you want to weep in frustration. The only thing I loved about this movie was Mr. Freeze?s outfit and makeup. Everything else about this movie is truly disappointing.
BODY OF EVIDENCE (1993)
Cast: Madonna, Willem Dafoe, Julianne Moore, Joe Mantegna
Madonna plays Rebecca Carlson, a gallery owner, in this did-she-or-didn?t-she murder mystery. She likes kinky sex and is soon accused of using her body as a weapon after her older lover, suffering from heart condition, is found dead following a heart attack. She now stands to gain $8 million from his will and becomes an obvious suspect. Her lawyer Frank Dulaney (played by Willem Dafoe) is out to prove her innocence- but ends up having an affair with her (how original!). Julianne Moore plays Frank Dulaney?s wife and she?s hardly ever seen on screen.
This thriller produces more yawns than surprises and it desperately tries to copy Basic Instinct. There is absolutely no chemistry between Madonna and William Dafoe. As for her acting ability, well?the less said about it, the better! The direction is very ordinary and below average performance by everyone.
JUNIOR (1994)
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Emma Thompson
Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes PREGNANT!?God! where?s this world heading?! Junior is a ludicrous and unfunny comedy about Dr. Larry Abrogate (Danny DeVito) and Dr. Alexander Hesse (Schwarzenegger), who decides to become a human guinea pig for the sake of medical research. A new drug, used for controlling pregnancy, must be tested to prove that his medicine works. Dr. Hesse implants a frozen human egg in his abdominal cavity and soon becomes pregnant (Now, does that make him Mummy or Daddy?!!). This experiment is illegal and they have to keep his condition a secret.
This is the part when the movie is supposed to become funny as we see Schwarzenegger doing what normal pregnant women would do. He experiences mood swings, morning sickness and cries watching sappy stuff on TV. He stuffs himself with ice- cream, pickles and Chinese food. Instead of hearing him say his trademark line, ?I?ll be back?, he complains, ’’My nipples are very sensitive? and ’’Does my body disgust you?.
All this is funny for 5- 10 minutes and then you simply wish the movie got over soon. Talented Emma Thompson, who plays fellow scientist, is entirely wasted in this movie and somehow this film appears to be incomplete in many ways.