Thought for the day: You know you have become ’somebody’ when nobodies start hating you
Prologue
Trust the one & only MS.com to come up with & entertain such a topic, which has all the potential of turning sane (you) & insane (the members you don’t like) members into celebrated Pillow-fighting experts.
On the other hand, a very valid question indeed is when we can have ’Five Best’, why not the ’Five Worst’? Doesn’t it provide us one more avenue for giving vent to our accumulated frustrations, when we have exhausted all other avenues such ’Not Useful’ ratings, ’Distrust List’ & the pernicious comments? When we can blissfully acknowledge the kicks of finding our hallowed names & ids in the ’Best’, shouldn’t we in the same token be prepared to accept kicks (of the literal type) on our thick behinds?
Of course rest assured there are the usual nit-pickers, fault-finders, holy cows, nueter-standists, democraticians, peace makers, preachers, fence-sitters enjoying the show ... you name it, the group is well represented in this ’Tamaasha’. Finally a topic that has the innate ability to bring out the Worst (very high probability) & the Best ( least probability) in each of us.
Looks this topic is for the keeps. So enjoy the ’Road Show’ & washing of the dirty linen in open. Shall I dare suggest this game a name?
Kaun Banega Worst Reviewer?
Typically anyone with whom I disagree & love to hate seems to be the (predominantly) set precedent. Let me check my list. Well, there are a couple. But do they deserve to be called the ’Worst’ just because I dislike them? Do I hear you say, ’why NOT? After all it’s your opinion. You have your freedom of expression to character assassinate anyone you (dis)like’.
Favourite Whipping Boys : 100- words + Padding masters, Junk writers, plagiarists etc. who have been over-represented in this category albeit anonymously? I rule out awarding them the honors in my very own personal ’Hall Of Shame’, as I don’t consider them to be ’Reviewers’ in the first place
Fake Ids, Consistent-NU-Raters, Comments-section-Fighters: Surely a lovable set of abominable species, but again are they real reviewers in the first place?
Racist-buffoons : People who consider others Best/Worst based on race, caste, creed, color, sex, language, nationality, appearance etc. Well, they might belong to the Simian Tree, but definitely lost up the evolutionary tree.
My Pet-hates: Make no mistake. I am no Gandhian & I do hate them from the bottom of my bottom-less heart. But how does that make any one of them Best or Worst Reviewers?
Oh, Boy! Looks I have exhausted all obvious choices, landing myself again in a No-mans-land; getting lost again in an Off-topic & Off-title discussion. Let me make a second attempt ( even the devil gives 3 wishes in exchange for a soul, so kindly adjust)
Kaun Banega Worst Reviewer RELOADED ( Isn’t this a season of Sequels?)
In my malicious extremely prejudiced & jaundiced view, the ’Worst Reviewer’ are
# One who misguides me rating a very useful product as ’Not Recommended’ and a totally useless product as ’Recommended’ with 5 stars; causing me & lots of other MSians substantial financial loss by following his/her opinions
# Someone who consistently promotes or denigrates a certain product with a malicious intent at heart, sometimes turning it into a sort of crusade in their life
Well, if you include coffee-table topics like Movies, Movie Stars, Politicians etc. you can easily turn it into a Who-is-who of MS.com including yours truly. Kyunki Hamaam main sabhi nangey hain == Everyones naked in the paradise! ( Just hoping this doesn’t give Ektaa Kapoor any new ideas)
But... kyunki... paranthu.... have you heard anyone go bankrupt by missing or watching a movie? Will my SRK bashing deprive him of his next well-reserved ’Film Fair’ award or Laloo from winning the next elections in Holy-Cows-own-country? Or convince Salman (and now Saurav-dada) to cling on to their shirts? ( I wish it could, but alas we live in an imperfect world). Main question being how much loss can these views cause to you.
I am talking here about products like Airlines, Video Cameras, Tourist locations, Software (legal!), Health clinics, online ticketing web-sites etc. which could burn a clean -hole- through your pockets. Any mis-guidance, mis-information here could land you in a financial loss & a pitiful situation.
WE the MSians who so intolerably classify anyone who criticizes our favourite actor/actress/cricketer, as the ’Worst’; Why do we let-go such individuals scot-free??!! Shall I list these individuals for the benefit of others...
Wait! Not so soon isn’t this a season of Trilogies?
Kaun Banega Worst Reviewer REVULSIONS ( So much for being a Matrixophiliac)
One is a Star Writer, the other one is a Stray Writer... Read on...
Fact or Fiction? : What if an online bidding web-site was so maligned using a customer forum like MS, causing financial losses to the web-site to the tune of it’s CEO making a mercy plea on MS. Do you think it is impossible? Think again. It has happened right here on MS. It is altogether another story that alternate sites suggested/promoted by these crusaders went bankrupt soon & were bought by the very same loss-making devil-incarnate website maligned by them.
Health or (your) Wealth? : What if the promoter of a certain Mumbai based clinic opened a couple of fake-ids & started unabashedly promoting his ’Health Clinic’? Need proof? Remain a regular writer on MS. As soon as you start featuring in ’Hot Reviews’, ’Hall of Fame’ etc. he will automatically invite you to his Distrust List using several of his fake-ids!!
I just listed out 2, there could be more of them. Don’t you think these dangerous individuals need to be crowned as ’Worst of the Worst’ in the ’Hall of Shame’?
While refraining from naming these individuals ( Boy, do I love having a defamation suit or a member-harassment complaint being foisted against me?) for the sake of MS harmony & World peace; let me assure that these individuals are not difficult to figure-out if you keep your eyes open & hang around MS long enough to be out of ’Best Debut’ list.
For those of you who still consider criticism of Actors , cricketers, Politicians to be a much more graver issue, May the ’Lord Of the Pillows’ be with you.
OK.. OK.. I hear you all my peace loving brethren. Let me turn a peacenik before one more mud-slinging match starts & raise a candle to Michael Jackson ( when he is not sleeping with the kids) & the rest of the world. Let the peace reign while the ’Big Fight’ continues else-where.
A Jealous Sigh: Mera Number Kab Aayega? :(( ( May be not too long considering the number of bete-noires I have pain-stakingly cultivated :-) )