This is just the way I feel about what is going on in our country at this moment. The facts can be seen on the television screen. Feelings can only be relayed through our words.
I sit here tonight after spending two days in front of the television set. I still can hardly believe my eyes at what I am seeing. The terror in New York and Washington D.C. is something so difficult to comprehend. I am so far away from the danger and the confusion, yet the overflow of it seems to land right in my back door. I am sure that I am not the only one who feels that way. This has changed all of our lives in a mighty way. It has changed our world, our life, and our very way of being forever.
As parents, we spend a life time teaching our children the difference between right and wrong. We tell them to look for the good in everything and everyone. How do I find good in this? As my children sit in a classroom--thousands of miles away from the initial attack--their worlds are too changed forever.
My children, ages three, five, seven, and eight--attend school on a military base. Seeing solders training is a way of life for them. But, to listen to them as they cry over the events of the day, and the things that they saw--will forever break my heart.
Call One: The base and the schools are on full military alert. It is not known when your children will be able to return home.
I sit in horror as I watch the events in New York take place before my very eyes through the power of technology. Technology that was unable to foresee or prevent what was about to unfold. Many children were being returned to their parents so a time of healing and bonding and reassurance could begin to take place. I, however, did not have that luxury because my children were in a lock down. Yet, I had to fall to my knees and praise GOD. For I knew where my family was and that they were safe. There were many in our country who did not.
Call Two: Mommy, we are so scared. The soldiers are not just practicing. They are running around and they have machine guns. Mommy--This time they are loaded and they are pointing them at other moms and dads who only want to come and get their children.
I sit here in horror as I watch the events of the day unfold. I fall to my knees and I pray for my children who are afraid of what they are seeing. Yet, I praise GOD! For I knew that what they were seeing was nothing compared to what the children in New York were seeing.
Another Call: Mommy, they are going to let us come home. None of us will be on the same bus. We have to get the first one that they put us on, but we will be home. Please be looking for us. We need you to hug us and let us know that everything will be okay. We need to know that everything will be the way it was.
I sit here in tears as I watch the events of yet another day unfold. I anxiously await the arrival of my children. I fall to my knees and I pray to GOD! How do I tell my children that nothing will ever be the same?
My general thoughts on New York City: I feel so helpless. What can I do? Will there ever be enough money or donations that can change what has happened there? I feel ashamed. I sit here relieved and happy that my family will once again be together, when I know that other families will never be together again. I feel anger. Why? Why does there have to be so much hate in the world? Did whoever did this sleep better tonight because of what they had done? Will we when we get even? I sit here in peace knowing that there is a greater power than I who will ultimately decide and help me with all of these feelings.