Well being the gaming freak(that’s right, I am a freak!). I thought I would write a small humorous article(yes, get the barf bags out!).
There is this new game in the block. After the success of X-men vs. Streetfighter and Marvel vs. Streetfighter, Kapcom plans to unveil a new one on one fighting game for the Indian Sub-continent. The game will pit two of the most powerful terrorist outfits - The Taliban and the LTTE, against each other. Both teams will have their separate turbo and special moves. For example the LTTE has the option of blowing everything up including themselves with plastic bombs. Taliban on the other hand relies on the lack of personal hygiene to fight opponents. Their moves include the lethal armpit choke and crotch rub. New characters include Prabhakran and Osama Bin Laden. On a similar note even the Taliban has not been safe from the Counter-Strike gaming epidemic and plans to take part in a Counter Strike Tourney with Real Ak-47’s.
In another report, in a move that took most people by surprise, something other than violence on television and video games have been blamed for sharp rise in violence among the youth. Studies show that testosterone, the cornerstone of every mammal and every reptile on the planet is to blame. Studies conducted by the University of Gamers reveal that the Taliban and the LTTE never played Doom or Blood 2. Upon further investigations, it was shown that even Atilla the Hun and Genghis Khan never played violent games during their childhood. The research papers end with a footnote: “There’s so much comedy on TV, do you see people engaging in comedy on the streets?
In an attempt to woo more women into gaming, Septic megagames have introduced a sequel to their hit game that will definitely appeal to women all around the world. Introducing “Husband Beater Tournament 2004”. The game is based around a single mission - beating the sh*t out of your husband as he runs around the house screaming for mercy. There are a lot of new levels including “The Office”, “The Bar” and a bonus level “In the Bed with your Best Friend”. You also have an upgraded weapon line with “Turbo-Jhadoo”, “Titanium Rolling Pins” and “Rocket Chappals”. The release date of Husband Beater has been announced as “When we return from the hospital”.
An Appeal by’The Peace loving Geeks Inc’ - We are born in the middle of a labyrinth, where thousands are laid out for the sole purpose of leading us astray, and we are so accustomed to sin, that we have forgotten what god has given us - life. Today I partook the most vivid portrayal of violence I have ever seen. It sickened me to my soul and I had to go down on my knees and beg God for forgiveness. I beseech you to open your eyes to the way of light and stop killin people in the most heinous ways.
I am talking about deathmatching. The young people engaging in their most visceral fantasies, shooting and killing people of god. So here I was in this blasphemous game called Counter Strike and I was the counter-terrorist, The ambassador of peace. I yelled at the brother’Look Brother I come in peace, I do not wish to kill you’.’God is almighty, and has given us the precious gift of life and we continue to mock at it in unimaginable ways. He forgives us, praise the lord’, He chucked a grenade at me.
A frag, you call killing someone a FRAG. this is outrageous and have you seen the way they die; blood and body parts all over the place, it is nauseating and downright evil. In Quake III, the textures are so demonic and foreboding and filled with pools of lava, blood and murals of demons on the walls. If things were my way, I would coat the walls with a lovely bluish pink colour that soothes the eye when you ascnecd into heaven. The murals should be of divine angels that lead us from darkness to light.
The computer world is symbolic of the world created by Almighty. It is a reflection of his love for us and we should not taint it. We should wish for the well being of all our fellow creaturesm computer generated or otherwise.
- End of Review, barf bags full? *