This one’s for Sitab, Ateev and Cubz - may you never need it! ms
Ideas contributed by -(ms id) pikles4me. Sex - male. Age - 15. Interested in - sports, gadgets, music, macs, movies and keeping my category 2 women happy, so that I can hang out with my category 1 girls in peace! Qualification to contribute to this - a 3:1 female:male ratio in my family+ some female friends. Reason for contributing to this - my mom, aka magicalsummer, twisted my arm into doing it.
if this works for you please contribute to my macbook pro fund. if it doesn’t, blame the woman involved and go buy yourself a drink. something that knocks you out for a day works best.
before I start, guys, why one earth would you want to do this?
girls(the good ones, the bad ones, the smart ones, the dumb ones, the pretty ones, the.ok, all girls are pretty, but that’s beside the point) girls, *all girls, * love baddidudes(dudes with bad attitudes) and the good guys dust the foot prints off their backsides, and sit around, moaning, and waiting for the girls to come running back to them!
and you still want to know how to impress a girl?
ok then, here goes.
be yourself. don’t chase her. be polite. buy a gift or two. keep your life. do stuff for her other guys don’t do.
thats it, you’ll impress her.
but since a two line’advice’ doesn’t satisfy my mom, and she’s a category 2 woman, let me spin it out for you.
*lesson 1 - this is not about one girl, it’s about all women.
lesson 2 - girls/women come in two categories -
Category 1 - the outside home girls -these are classmates/colleagues, friends, friends of friends, sister’s friends, friends’ sisters and girl friends. some of them stay on, most don’t.
Category 2 - the at home girls/women -sisters(mostly pests, unless they have nice friends) cousins, mom, aunts and assorted oldies. if you asked my dad, he would include wives and most dangerously relatives of wives!
only death or divorce brings change here, so pay attention to this lot.
category 1 is mostly fun, category 2 is comfort. the same things work for both, difference is that you have to slog at category 2 day after day after day after day after day. tough, but worth it, mostly.
point 1 - be yourself. unless you’re the world’s biggest slob with no interests other than work or studies, you’re fine as you are. you don’t have to change your hairstyle, clothes, friends or interests to suit your girl of the moment . how often will you change anyway? anyway you don’t want girls who want fake!
girls in category 2 often think you are the most pathetic male around and that they can improve you. it’s fine to pretend their opinions are not worth dust, but listen to them. they are female, so they have insider knowledge.
point 2 - don’t obsess. don’t chase her; nobody wants what they can very easily have.
point 3 - be polite. open doors, carry packages, see them to their door when you drop them home, don’t look blank when category 1 girls ask which nailpolish looks better, diplomatically tell category 2 girls the truth if they are wearing something terrible in an attempt to impress some undeserving guy. say please, thank you and sorry, don’t lech. praise cooking, pay compliments.
point 4 - give a gift or two. everybody likes gifts, especially gifts for no reason at all and gift with a story or special effort. doesn’t have to cost the earth. forget a stuffed bear, string together a bracelet with 5 shells you picked on the beach. if your category 1 girl wants gifts that costs the earth, don’t ever let her become a category 2 woman.
point 5 - keep your life. hang out with your buddies, don’t be available 24X7. if your life consists only of work or studies, get a more interesting one, and hey, let her have a life too. 10, 000 smsses a day? please!
point 6 - do stuff other guys don’t do. this means going shopping with them, going for a girlie movie, learning how to give a footrub. but if you do it often enough and well enough, you will be asked to do it all the time and will get taken for granted. make it clear it’s a special treat. remember point 2? don’t be too easily available!
point 7 - do something unusual. learn to cook. make conversation that doesn’t revolve around work, sports, gadgets or girls, *listen to her, * treat her nicely even if you’re not together anymore, learn to dance - I hate this but my category 2 girls tell me it’s important, so it must be.
point 8 - don’t be uptight. have fun together(i’m not even going to tell you this does not mean cracking stupid jokes!) if you’re trying hard to impress her, you can’t have fun, so see, trying to impress girls is lame!
it’s simple. you don’t have to be a slavish puppy. somehow girls seem to like guys who are happy being themselves better than guys who try too hard. remember points 3, 4, 6 & 7, and don’t treat girls as someone you have to impress - they are just people in a different shape!( I don’t believe that either, but it sounded good, didn’t it?)
and in the end, you can do everything right, and the category 1 girl you want to impress could still find a jerk to devote herself to, and break your heart - but that’s not a bad thing - you can start all over again with somebody new!
and if you’ve been good to your category 2 women, they will be around to see your through.
have fun.
pikles4me.
as mom to the man-boy(pikles4me) whom I frog-marched down the road he now happily ambles along, let me put in my 2 bits - this is about attitude, not a gift you buy, or a door you open. if you don’t genuinely like and respect women for what they are, and not simply for the bodies they come in or what they do for you, no tutorial will work.
and those who recognise and acknowledge a woman’s worth will always laugh that there even have to be write ups titled - general advice on impressing women!
ms