The title is a little deceptive. It actually means that the review has been written by an amateur... :)
This is about a game called Bowling. It involves ten pegs, two gutters, a ball and a positive attitude. The positive attitude helps one keep the ball away from the gutters which is the sole aim of the game.
If someone tells you that hitting the pegs should be your aim, please don’t pay much attention to him/her. If you aim for the pegs, the ball will invariably end up in one of the gutters. However if you pay attention to the gutters, you have a high chance of scoring the ’X’.
Consider this. I usually take a four-meter run-up, swing my hand to the wildest angle possible and release the ball with a full force towards the center peg. My action has been hailed as the perfect bowling action. The way I cross my legs just after releasing the ball makes girls stop their business and look at me with an awed expression on their faces. I attain speeds of about twenty miles per hour. Despite all these measures, the ball always ends up in the gutter and the girls, with other guys.
Now look at my girl. She simply walks to the edge of the lane, stands there and rolls the ball gently into the lane amidst suppressed laughter from everyone watching her. Her speed is around 4 miles per hour. Her action is not a great thing to watch. But she scores that X. And believe me! It is the X that counts… not the action. She gets all the dinner invitations.
Moral Number One: Don’t aim for the pegs.. Just keep it off the gutter.
A lot depends on the size of the grip-holes and the weight of the ball too. If your thumb gets stuck in the hole, you’ve got a problem… rather the guys standing right behind you have a problem. One of my friends took the wrong ball and ended up throwing it backwards… almost smashing my left big toe.
Moral Number Two: Stay out of the line of action.
If the ball is too heavy, you end up releasing it too soon… or releasing it in an improper direction. And the gutters happily swallow it. I think the attraction power of those gutters surpass every other power in the universe. I am actually thinking of registering my own hypothesis: The Vedam Theory of G-Forces…
Funda Number One: Two gutters running parallel to each other attract the ball so that it doesn’t run parallel to either gutter.
So, you need the right ball. If you are a bowling freak like me, you’ll probably wanna buy your own ball. That is how I manage my earth staggering scores of around 65 in bowling competitions.
Let me recap:
Choose your ball. (Factors to be considered: Size of your fingers and Weight of the ball)
Pay attention to Moral Number One.
Pay attention to Moral Number Two.
Keep in mind the theory of G-Forces.
And now let me tell you the most important rule of the game.
5. You just can’t spin the ball. Don’t even try it.
You may see a number of teenage kids there, spinning the ball away from the gutters. It may all seem very easy to do but trust me on this. It is most difficult thing in the world… well, after Einstein’s Theory of Relativity of course. The G-Forces are way too strong.
All right. If you pay attention to these five all-important bowling fundae (Fundae = plural of Funda), you are sure to make your first bowling experience a memorable one. It is not the speed but the direction that matters. So go ahead, apply your brain and displace the pegs. Remember to say hi to your girlfriend every now and then… The game can get so addictive that you might actually forget that you’d gone there with your girlfriend.
Ah! I forgot another important rule. If your shoe size is ten… don’t try to squeeze your foot into a nine. It just doesn’t work.
Venu