Before I start this, promise me you won?t cry. My story will shake you up to the core?.
It all started yesterday, our gang(friends) had plans to catch up a new flick at PVR, esp as the day was so pleasant and cool?we had first winter showers in Delhi for the season dipping the mercury substantially.
Calls were been made early morn fcking to chalk the POA(plan of action), but nothing actually materialized as some of the gang members had work or some were down with the Delhi viral and moreover no new release was worthwhile too.
So I was stuck Friday morning at home to see India being trashed by the aussies?but my mom n cousin sis(visiting me from Mumbai) had other plans?.I had to be their driver for the day?which I reluctantly said yes to.
Our shopping trip was going to be relatively simple n quick as I thought so?.but later I have to admit was one the most nightmarish days in Abhi beta`s life?.
Pronto all 3 of us loaded(me, sis n mom) in the car and move towards SAROJINI NAGAR(S.N) the shopping Mecca of Delhi, especially girls?.
The trip itself stared on a bad note as our car had mild shave with a tempo?and my mom n sis yelling a t me that I should join driving classes, though I have been driving for 7 years now?.but bechara abhi could not get the signs of early bad luck and moved ahead towards SN?though I`ve read DA VINCI CODE and I know everything points towards something?.
We reached their around noon and market was bustling with ladies of all types: old, short, aged, fat, cute, young married, recently divorced n yeah chicks too?.all taking part in the great Delhi shopping marathon I guess?
Now what as I know was that my mom wanted some shawls and a few household items and my sis wanted a top, few tracks and some junk jewellery(what is that?) .Leave it my sis told me?.
Ok that was the initial shopping list but wait till this ends and jus see what they bought?.
I saw all the road side stalls filled with various stuffs n people swarming all around, it seemed?beta abhi was lost in shopping land?
The real ordeal starts now?.
Mom n sis were actually harassing the shopkeepers asking them to sell things at RS 50, which the shop keepers had quoted at RS 300, wow, ?I thought that?s wrong and protested only to be fired by mom, ` you actually know nothing, keep out and lets us do the bargaining?.what is that bargaining or robbing them, I asked?.my sis intervened and told me just wait and watch?.
K fine?.now my mom actually got that painting for 35, which the shopkeeper initially was selling for 250?wow?
I was amazed but thought it must be by chance?but all that shattered when my sis got a polo T for 100, which was been sold for 550?I was amazed?.
But all comes for a price.First u need to harass the sh*t out of the shopkeeper and repeatedly pester him finally he will say, k take it for free n leave me alone?
Topping was that my sis visited SN for the first time and says to the shopkeeper `bhaiya humko bevkuf mat samajho, hum yahan har week aate hain?.it was too much for me and guess what that bloody shopkeeper acknowledging the fact that: yes madam I saw you here last week?I was about to faint?.
One peculiar thing that I saw was that lot of foreigners throng the market for cheap stuff?.wow I thought they were rich though?.come on they are not from Bangladesh?
One more thing is that they are thoroughly branded stuff available here?.were would you see tracks written with Armani on one leg and Tommy on the other?.cool na?
I even saw a shoe with the adidas three stripes logo on it and written nike over it.phew?
If ever those designers visit India they will surely have a mild heart attack?.you can get Armani, Gucci, Versace or even ritro clothes here?wow?.now I know were people get their designer clothes from?.
Anyways after 4 hours of physical and mental torture, my mom and sis stopped their rampaging and bullying?.
I actually thought that SN shopkeepers would have a strike for the next day in protest of my mom and sis looting them?heheheh?.
So now, finally my sis quits and sez that she is tired and we should just chill out, but I see no tiredness in mommy dearest eyes?she looks fit and raring to go for a second round?.but sis prevails?.finally sis decides y not go to Dilli Haat and have fruit beer and Momo`s . My mom was about to faint when she heard the word beer, she couldn?t imagine her good children actually guzzling them?.
It took a lot of convincing mom that it is a fruit beer and a non alcoholic one?.
So we reach Dilli Haat and abhi is smiling coz now he will eat, drink and go home?.but again the sinister designs of god prevail( read girls and their shopping habits)
My sis locates a art shop and mom has her eyes glued to the Saree shop?and abhi has fainted?.
Again the cross country marathon starts for shopping but i`m not taking part?I just move towards the NortEast stalls and have Momo`s and fruit beer?also a dude is playing nirvana for the public?.so finally I have a moment of respite?.
Finally we reach home at 9 pm?with the following things;
- Happy mom
a. 1 shawl
b. 1 manipuri saree
c. 1 cardigan
d. few household stuffs
e. few crockery stuff
f. one damn cheap painting(art)
- Happier sister
a. 2 lowers
b. 2 tops
c. 1 T which I gifted to her( written on front side ` F**k U? and on the back written `Yeah U?)
d. 1 jacket
e. and a cupboard full of jewellry(junk remember)
3 . A semi conscious Boy called abhi ready to move into state of coma.
Yeah the ordeal ends finally but wait till you hear this?.I know its hard to believe but its true?
My girlfriend calls in the night and says she wants to go shopping?.suddenly abhi starts going into coma?.but I get hold of myself and say no problem?.
Voice from other end: ok fine then tomorrow morning 10, we will go to SAROJINI NAGAR?.boom?
OK I’m writing this from my ICU room in the hospital?the doctor says I `m in shock and will take time to recover?bye .please visit me?.