| All glories to the extreme tolerance that citizens of India Possess.|
| Inspired to write on this by the Keeper of Souls.|
| Inspired by the comments of suyog to Reeper’s Review.|
Indian Traffic-Perhaps the most annoying word even when heard, forget actually facing this dragon. In India, its not termed Traffic. It is modernly termed as Survival Of the Fittest. It’s a source of indelible learning. Indian Traffic teaches us to be Tolerant. It teaches us to be a opportunist. It preaches us manners vicariously. It teaches us immunization. It helps us to rouse our vocal cords. It gives us the most unexpected bump at the most unexpected time. Such is the greatness of our Indian Traffic. Let’s see how. Wanna ride? Anytime baby! The rear seat is empty. Chuck in. Ready, here we go!
Survival of the fittest.
Darwin’s theory of the survival was most adopted by Indian traffic. You have a 132 feet road(considering the urban area, otherwise you expect 80 feet) Now, that way talking about Ahmedabad, I’m lucky to have my home near the 132 feet road. To be the survivor of the fittest, consider the following points:
Tolerance.(Moral Science+ Spiritual Education)
Feeling good? Mate, 132 feet is a good amount of width for vehicles to pace away. But wait, We are talking about Indian traffic. How can I ever forget the Black & white figures? Oh! That means the black buffaloes & White cows(spiritual) with their 2 calves at least. So expect a 132 feet road divided into 2 parts, first part where our cows find their picnic spot.
Please we have no problems with them. It teaches tolerance. We can tolerate the cows but only if they array themselves into a straight line. But why wouldn’t cows also take advantage of Indian roads? They curve themselves in the most irregular shape & frequency you can imagine. So in case you are a frequent user of the road, at the end of day we become tolerant. See how amazingly Indian roads preach the message of Tolerance. That’s the greatness!
Forgot to add that the case of the driver assumed in the above is a driver of a 2-wheeler. In case you carry a 4 wheeler, You imbibe a lot more tolerance than 2 wheelers. That plainly means you are at the mercy of cows only. If they desire, luckily for you, and give you way, consider yourself fortunate.
Opportunism.
So we already are amidst a densely populated area. Fight for your right. Let’s see what should be our war strategy.
Aim: To reach our office/club/home.
Apparatus:
# A Non polluting vehicle with either 2/4/6 wheels.(Assuming that this advise pertains to MS members not owning an autorickshaw.)
# A road devoid of any coal or tar with craters encountering at a frequency of 50 blinks of one normal human eye not suffering from conjunctivitis and normal functioning of arteria centralis retinae.
Other Facts(some found & some assumed)
20 two wheelers- 10 bikes with pillion riders, 5 scooter with triple passengers 5 with a 4 member happy Indian(Gujju) family.
8 Rickshaws- All manufactured before 1983. Fuel used: Kerosene+ smelly amounts of gasoline(Petrol)(for a change)
2 State Transport Bus: -No description required.-
A herd of cows.
Stray Dogs.(Don’t forget pups)
Open Manholes(mostly)
(Neglecting the absence of Traffic Police in unbranded nooks & corners)
Ok! So we know all the essential facts. Considering each and every fact, One must be prepared for grabbing the right opportunity as and when chance is foresighted. Yes! You guess it right. The chance of getting a free road ahead is a rare possibility in peak hours, so you have to risk yourself while grabbing the right opportunity.
This is a very special skill and definitely, with persons having IQ above 70 would find it easy to become an opportunist. But complacency would soon creep in. So keep updating your knowledge by roaming in different parts of the city. In this case, slow and Steady just loses the race. So don’t ever let patience creep in yourself.
Today’s tip for you: Never ever let your vehicle stand in the backwards of a ST bus/ Truck/ 1983 make Auto-Rickshaws, or be prepared to be a walking canvas of ebony black painting.
Immunization.
This is one point that comes free to you as you pass the ordeal above. Your grey cells become immune of all the day mares(?) that you might have to face during your(un) pleasant trip to destination. Yes! One thing that isn’t talked above is your immunization to abusive languages(esp. in Ahmedabad)
Warning
Please if you are an egocentric, High self respected person-better employ a driver for you. Any mistake shall not be overlooked by people.* Thou shalt* not dare to take the turn without signaling with your hands or be prepared to be the host for the reception of the most typical of abusive content ever found.
Even if you have switched on your Left/Right turn indicator, Still you are eligible to be the host of abusive language. Mate! Light indicators are of no use. Use your hand. Learn the Sign Language. Better to gauge this language from a Rickshaw driver. The best example of hand-eye-leg coordination one can ever come across.
Shout! Shout! Till you feel like a lout.
A very good vocal exercise is to be an opportunist. To be an opportunist, you shall have to shout. Shout and educate the people to give you free way(In case you see one) This way you have two benefits at the same time of exercising your vocal bands and becoming an opportunist too.
So you see, traveling through Indian Roads and encountering the Indian Traffic can be a great treasure for you. You can assume different personalities in different roads. Yes! While adopting the above methods in your usual practice, Make sure you have a license, a PUC(Pollution Under Control) certificate and the vehicle papers. We wouldn’t like corrupting out Police force. So if you should carry the 3 documents, what the police can fine you could be settled easily or else you would be in traumatic tantalizing tantrums. Are you wondering why would you be caught in spite of taking such care? Friend, you might be in a One-way.
I hope that next time you feel like driving in India, you’d have all the arms and ammunitions ready for your Armageddon. In case you make it through in the first chance, Please don’t forget to M2M me for you shall be crowned the best debutant Award here in MS for making it through the Indian roads.
P.S: A very memorable snippet of suyogs comment on Ahmedabad Buses should be a must mention here. It says that Ahmedabad buses that are supposed to be running on Left lane deftly change their lane into a right lane and take a 20° turn. This is the best sequel you find in Ahmedabad. Better than(even) in T-3. Suyog, You are so true. Nothing has changed since you left Ahmedabad.
p.p.s: since my review was doing very bad, I changed the title to somewhat more enticing one, pardon me-> these theme was inspired by One of Premjit’s review